Keep the main thing, the main thing
What I Didn’t Expect and How I Sloshed Through Retirement #1
It’s not all fun and games, but we get to make the rules
Retirement dates, not set in stone
Have you planned to do something, then it all falls apart? Well, it happened to me, and I had no recourse but to accept what was happening.
My plan
I had notified my superior I wanted to retire when I turned 70 years old, and I wanted to retire on my terms. I almost completed my plan.
When the ambulance pulled in my driveway, I was four months shy of my 70th birthday. The ambulance ride was my third in 12 years. I knew I had heart issues, and it was my arteries. I have had a total of five stents inserted in my arteries over 12 years. The good news is, no ambulance in my driveway for over nine years now!
So, even though I planned my retirement, it was abrupt. Health issues have a way of changing the best-laid plans of mice and men.
Home with no place to go
Of course, you have time to recover from a hospital stay, which I did. But then, I was thrust into retirement ahead of my schedule.
The first three years of retirement are most difficult, indeed. You wake up, what day is it? I don’t know why it matters, you’re thinking. It takes three years to adjust to your own set of rules because no one above you is regimenting your schedule. Then it dawns on you — you are now making the rules.
In these initial years of retirement, I call the slosh years. We grope for ways to fill our days with a sense of meaning. Yes, I might as well say it. We need to be needed.
If you are what you DO, when you no longer DO, you’re done.
If you think our workplace makes us who we are, you’re in for a shock when they close the door behind you, and you no longer have the key!
So, the first three years are shock and awe. We are not needed at the workplace to solve problems, and our shock is we’re not indispensable. The awe is days of wonder, what’s next.
We men need to be busy, don’t we? So, being the man I am, I drove for the rideshare companies, Uber and Lyft. After two-and-a-half years of not making any money, I quit. Yes, I’m a slow learner. I also conducted funerals for my local funeral director. It seems like people who had no religious affiliation see the need for a pastor to lower them in the grave.
“It’s not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: what are we busy about? — Henry David Thoreau
Being busy doesn’t always mean you’re making progress. You could be spinning wheels with little forward progress.
After nine years, it’s smooth sailing
The key is knowing when and how to adjust to retirement.
I’m retired nine years now, and I’m getting good at setting my own rules. As a full-time caregiver for my precious wife, I know what has to happen each day. I’m the one laying down the rules at the Armstrong Old Folk’s Home. And, that’s a good thing.
Keep the main thing, the main thing
I wrote above, it’s not all fun and games, but we get to make the rules. The challenge is to make the rules moving your spouse, and family, forward, which means setting sights on building hope for tomorrow. Doing things drawing you closer as a couple.
Even in our older years, we hone our skills and abilities to improve our lives. So, for me, the main thing is for me to make the next day bloom with anticipation.
What are you doing in your later years to keep the bloom on the rose? How do you fill your days with the expectation of better days ahead?
Richard
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