I Did Not See These Coming When Radically Transforming My Life

Expect the unexpected

For the past 2 years, I’ve been feeling a growing disconnection with things that once had me very invested and motivated. I thought maybe, I was just growing up. But that was until I couldn’t relate to my peers anymore.

I wasn’t just growing up. I was outgrowing.

Most things that society deems important, seem utterly pointless to me.

Most things that worry people, don’t even make me blink an eye anymore.

There’s few things that seem to faze me, even fewer things that seem to excite me.

I attribute it mostly to two things

• the events that took place in my life — loss, death, grief.
• material life experiences that brought me only pleasure but no real joy.

With this, began the phase of detachment. It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t easy.

Fading of My Old Identity

My detachment kick-started the dissolution of my old self — my desires, my plans, my social conditioning and my communities.

Initially, I tried to make sense of why the same routines in my life were not working for me anymore, why the same people weren’t resonating with me anymore, and why my soul felt like it was slowly dying.

I was starting to feel like an empty shell.

Usually, I look around to find some inspiration. I look for hope in people — those who have built a lifestyle where they thrive, with their souls vibrant and their spiritual health in the green zone.

But what I found was not inspiration, but a sad truth.

Lost Souls And A Jail-Break

It was then that I found how many others around me were emptier than me. Some were fighting it. Others had accepted that that’s how it was meant to be. Some others were desperately trying to find the solution within the constraints of the matrix — through pleasure and hedonism, drugs and escapism.

It was an epidemic, of the spiritual health kind.

It made me sad. There was nothing I could do to help any of them.

I realized I had to guide myself. I had to carve out my own path to get out of the box that was killing me and everyone around me. It was scary and disheartening, but I had to do something.

Eventually, I figured that the solution was far outside the box. I needed to break out of the box. I needed to let go of all that I built for myself and rebuild a new life that resonates with me. I did not know what that life should look like, but I did know what it shouldn’t look like.

I had to get out of a whole country.

The Bridge of Limbo

I began the “let-go” by uprooting my life. Brick by brick, I disassembled my life — my career, my location, my social circles, my future goals and roadmaps.

You see, in the 3D world, there’s a lot to figure out when you switch up your life and location drastically —not just goodbyes but taxes, moving, banking, and the other complex stuff. I had to wrap too many things up before hopping on a flight to my greener pastures (literally).

Because of this uprooting, I had to face something I wasn’t prepared for — the limbo.

It was a zone where my old self was dying, but my new self was not yet born. It was a no-where state of mind, where I felt so emotionally checked out from my current reality that my soul started to get thirsty. I started to crave something that re-ignited my soul, my passions and my desires. Nothing was found.

With each step I took towards uprooting myself, the limbo only got more unbearable.

It soon morphed into the zombie phase — I was just going through the motions of life. I was dead inside.

I started to lose a lot of weight and my eyes looked like they were created by ChatGPT — lifeless.

Reaching the Other End

Once I finally landed myself at my destination country, everything felt right.

Even though materialism was present here like everywhere else, the vibe and culture was still vibrant. It was home after-all.

Over time, my soul started feeling rejuvenated. I started re-assembling with the parts of myself that made it through the zombie phase. But for the most part, I had to figure out what new-me is and what resonated for her.

It’s still a work in progress.

But I’m here today, living a simple life with my dear ones, and pursuing my passions even if they make me peanuts.

I feel liberated now. I feel content.

But I had to die at the end. Only then was I able to truly liberate myself from the matrix.

So before you embark on a similar journey of your own, expect to face these — disassociation, death and the dreaded limbo.

The other side is worth the trouble.