Humor
What Happened When I Had a Large Spotted Dick
And make no mistake, I’d do it again and again

When was the last time you had spotted dick in your mouth? It was yesterday for me, and I’m glad I did. It was moist and warm. The only thing missing was cream.
Maybe next time.
For the record, it goes down relatively quickly. Swallow a couple of times. It will go down, I promise.
Now, I know some of you freakin’ weirdos are thinking, “What the actual fuck?” And you’d be right. But don’t hate me because you’ve never had spotted dick in your mouth and feel like you’re missing out.
You are.
Now, get your damn mind out of the gutter. I’m not talking about dick. I’m talking about spotted dick. There is a difference.
Now, I can’t post a picture of a dick on Medium. I like it here and don’t wanna get bounced. But I can show you some spotted dick.

I’d heard of spotted dick years ago. Spotted dick is a traditional British steamed pudding, historically made with suet and dried fruit (usually currants or raisins) and often served with custard.
“Spotted” refers to the dried fruit in the pudding that looks like spots. “Dick” and “dog” were dialectal terms widely used for pudding. In the late 19th century, “Dick was a plain pudding. Hence, with the above-noted currants or raisins, the dick is spotted.
So, I had spotted dick for dessert yesterday. And it was delicious. Next time, I’ll top it with whipped cream.
I might be old, but my humor can still be sophomoric. Next time, I’ll discuss slutty brownies.
Thanks for reading.






