What gets my goat?

Things that make me go grrrr and others that hit my boiling point

16. Pamela Oglesby asks: “Do you get angry easily, or what makes you mad?”

We all know there are things that annoy us — and things that truly anger us. So here’s a list of a few triggers, blood boilers, and yes, unforgivables.

Annoyances

Narcissism: Narcissists are people who think they’re all that and a bag of chips. They are “me first” all the time. At a restaurant, they must order first. At any public event, they must hold the floor. In conversations, they talk on and on and on about themselves but don’t let others get in a word edgewise. And not surprisingly, they will drone on about their problems but won’t listen to yours. They’re also the kinds of people who happily accept favors from others but don’t ever bother to reciprocate.

These people infuriate me, but only when I am in their presence. That’s because I’ve also learned to drop them quickly.

Entitlement: This might appear to be in the same category as the former but it pertains mostly to so-called “important people” — generally, someone who thinks they rank above you in some way. The first thing out of their mouths is always “I’m busy.” Translation: what they really mean is “I don’t have time for the likes of you.” These are usually the same folks who give their talk at a conference and leave immediately because they’re “busy.” I have been seeing this increasingly through the years. If they’re that busy, why even attend in the first place?

Newsflash — EVERYONE is busy. In fact, it’s the ones lower down on the socio-economic scale who are even busier because they can’t afford to hire someone to cook, clean, and do other errands. So this is what I like to do with these annoying folks: tell them everything I have to do and see them taken aback. I’ve also learned to leave right when those people are about to give a paper at a conference. (After a while, you know these people…) It’s fun to beat them at their own game!

False Modesty: if you have to say “I don’t like to brag but…” guess what? You are bragging. As well as being prissy and disingenuous. So just come out and say what you’ve accomplished. It actually sounds more natural — and guess what, you might get applauded too!

These truly tick me off..

Intolerant people: calling all racists, sexists, and homophobes! This should be self-explanatory, especially for those of you who’ve read my articles on racism, feminism, and Karens. As an Asian and late Boomer, I’ve seen some progress but there is great room for improvement. If the right-wing is becoming increasingly overtly racist (MAGAts, anyone?), so-called liberals can be almost as bad. These are the people who treat their nonwhite opponents with open disrespect even when they’re not using slurs.

Anti-intellectualism: ugh. Why is it that people think they have as much knowledge as someone who’s actually studied a subject for over ten years? Or that they know more than a physician because they can google symptoms? Hello, degrees don’t come easy. Yes, maybe there’s grade inflation, but students do get kicked out and doctoral programs have pretty notorious attrition rates: some have over 50% dropping out.

And now, there’s a bill in Ohio that is seeking to limit discussion of “controversial topics” — including climate change. I’m betting y’all none of the bozos proposing the bill have even taken a science course, let alone completed a Ph.D. in any science.

Injustice: There’s nothing I hate more than injustice. Big criminals who elude punishment while lesser criminals are rounded up. (See my article on capitalist crimes.) Legacy admissions and any admissions not based on actual smarts — but rather who you’re related to. And of course, judgments based on racism, sexism, etc. (See above.)

MAGAts and Vote Blue No Matter Who. Not voting for Trump does not mean a vote for Biden. And vice-versa! Who says I need to vote for someone I highly disapprove of? Unless you pay my bills, you have no business telling me whom to vote for!

If the two main parties are ticked off that others are voting 3rd party, maybe they need to ask themselves what they’re doing wrong. Maybe they ought to think whether they’ve actually done anything for the voters. Why should I vote for you when you haven’t bothered to fulfill any of your promises? Because bullying people to vote for so-and-so can backfire in a very big way!

My blood is boiling!

Like all humans, I am more apt to anger if something affects me directly and deeply. Or if I have little control over it. So while I am apt to be irritated by a narcissist, self-important person, or anti-intellectuals, I usually know what to say and do. They may annoy or infuriate me but not for too long. And although all forms of discrimination anger me, I know how to resolve that outrage by writing about it and disseminating it.

Lack of consideration for others: For those of you who’ve seen my articles on barking dogs and misbehaving children, you probably already know what bothers me.

Yes, I positively loathe people who let their dogs bark for extended periods of time especially at night. People who let their dogs crap everywhere and don’t bother to pick up after them. Please don’t tell me, “well, dogs bark and poop.” Or “the dog is unhappy.” Well, duh! If dogs are so smart and trainable, why don’t you teach them how not to bark 24/7? Why can’t you pick up after your mutt or let it do its business in your OWN yard? And FYI, no one told you to get a dog. Plus, I have a right to undisturbed sleep — especially after 11 pm. I am that person who will call the police if I hear a dog barking for more than 10 minutes!

Then there are the parents who let their children misbehave in public, especially in restaurants and on planes. Even more annoying is how miffed they get if someone ever shows ever the least sign of impatience or frustration because the crotch goblin has nearly tripped over a waitress juggling three loaded plates of food. Or if the precious one has managed to fling a tater tot dipped in ketchup in your direction.

But arguably worse are those who defend these irresponsible parents. (Kids are kids, after all.) “But — but — but — the poor mother!” Hello, no one asked her to breed and be a total putz at disciplining her child. Why do the rest of us have to tolerate the mother’s poor parenting skills and their child’s terrible behavior?

The rest of these are short — not because they’re unimportant, but because they’re self-explanatory. Or at least self-explanatory to someone with a brain!

People who don’t listen: especially those who make exactly the kind of mistake I want them to avoid — and more so if it concerns me. No one wants to waste breath by giving advice that is going to be ignored.

People who don’t learn from mistakes: If animals can learn how to avoid making the same mistake twice, why can’t humans?

People who can’t keep promises. Ever heard of the saying, “don’t make promises you can’t keep? Well, learn it. There’s a reason why it exists.

And worst, and most unforgivable, people who betray my trust. Trust is a currency. Every transaction, every business, and every relationship runs on trust. Without trust, we are lost.

So, yes, we have every right to be incensed by friends/family who lie about us or sabotage us in any way. This is particularly true where our lives are affected materially.

It is in those cases that I cannot forget or forgive. Ever.

© Frances A. Chiu, November 24, 2023. All Rights Reserved.