What Does It Mean to Have a Healthy Relationship with Money?

Keeping your priorities in order, even when pressure from society says you should eat out on your birthday.

Money is tight. I am trying not to obsess. Trying, but failing miserably.

The cost of living is increasing at every turn and it’s starting to paralyze me.

“What did you do to celebrate your birthday?” a colleague asks. “Did you go out for dinner?” They ask a follow-up question before I can answer.

“No,” I respond. The truth is that the cost of living and one meal being the equivalent to groceries for a week is something I cannot disconnect from — even for my birthday.

I work hard. Earn decent money. And yet, I still feel paralyzed.

For me, it’s critical to be intentional about spending and it’s a lesson I am teaching my children; however, my mental state takes things too far.

What am I working for?

I put so much time, energy and stress for what?

To what end do these efforts offer a reward?

My family has a roof over our heads and plenty of food in our bellies.

We can enrol our children in activities of their choosing. This privilege is not lost on me.

My husband and I made a commitment to our children, “Choose a sport — any sport and we ensure you can participate.”

Ice hockey, equestrian and skiing were the first activities on the list and that’s when, for a brief moment, I regretted making this promise.

I am not sure the kids could have selected any more expensive sports. Equestrian was short-lived thanks to a long commute, so they’ve turned to ice hockey, skiing and bouldering — each providing financial barriers that we seem to overcome.

We overcome these barriers because we make it a priority.

My husband and I are steadfast in this commitment and we knew we could find a way to make it work.

Even if it means moving into a trailer for several months of the year as we don’t live near a ski hill.

If not eating out, even on my birthday, means I can afford these opportunities for my children, it’s a choice that I will make every time.

Finding Balance and Financial Wellness

What does it look like to have a healthy relationship with money?

We should not let our money control us, but instead, we should control it.

Of course, this is much easier said than done. (Nadine Wild — add that to the list you’re curating.)

In particular, given the current state of the world and inflation, financial wellness is becoming equally important to physical and mental wellness. While this lens is not something I’d suggest is top of mind, arguably, many will recognize that these components of health are all intertwined.

Brad Klontz, PsyD, a financial psychologist and director of research at H&R Block Dollars & Sense, describes:

“Financial health is having a conscious and purposeful relationship with money that is satisfying and isn’t overly stressful.”

PsychCentral put together a simple list to frame financial health that offers a good checklist for persons, like me, to find a balance and develop financial wellness. Their list includes:

💰 spend money based on your values;

💰 have low or reasonable debt;

💰 save money to meet your goals; and

💰 have a safety net, such as an emergency fund or insurance.

Working from this space I can see more clearly: so what? if I don’t eat out for my birthday — that action does not align with my financial values.

Key Message: Being in tune with your priorities and values is in the best interest of your physical, mental and financial health provided you see this concept through from an idea to meaningful action.

What actions are you taking each and every day to keep your priorities in fact a priority?

Related reading:

Mohamad Hakim lets me know that I’m not alone:

Prajjwala Nandeesh reflects on lessons learned, which I am sure many can relate.

Zack Daniels reframes “wealth” as freedom. What does this mean to you? I invite you to spend time reflecting after reading his article.

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