What Does an Ideal Couple Look Like?
Social media star goes viral for NOT depicting the perfect couple
Alicia McCarvell, 32, is in love.
Like most young women, she likes to express her affection for her husband on social media.
One post shows the couple doing what many couples on TikTok like to do — take a video wearing bath towels and then transitioning into party outfits. It garnered 2.4 million views.
People flocked to the comment section, some supportive and others dumping nasty comments. Why? Alicia’s husband is built like a bodybuilder and Alicia is fat.
Haters said he must have a “fat fetish.” She is a “sugar mama.”
“He can change her guys.”
“I wonder if she was fat when she met him.”
“Love is definitely blind.”
These are high school sweethearts married for 15 years and in love, having fun on social media spreading body positivity messages.
What’s not to like? A lot, apparently.
Obsession
Our culture is obsessed with fit, pretty women. Mind you, I said fit, not thin. You can’t be too thin either.
Ask reality star Khloe Kardashian, a past victim of hateful comments calling her the fat and ugly Kardashian in comparison to her two sisters.
This year, amid displaying her toned body in a skintight dress, her social media blared with warnings from fans calling her “too skinny.”
It seems it’s impossible to get it right.
In our society, a woman’s worth is entrenched in what she looks like — added to that, she must be ready for battle when pictured next to her partner, lest they don’t fit into society’s norms.
Take a look at this picture below on tallgirlshortboy Instagram. Look odd?This couple met on Tinder and are now happily married.
I’m imagining her life — men after men rejecting her for her stature, probably bullied in school, and endless stares for simply being born that way. Women are supposed to be shorter and smaller than a man, society tells us.
I have a girlfriend who wears a shoe size 10. She has to order custom-built shoes or buy men’s shoes. Then, I knew a short guy in college who had his shoes tailored with black platforms to look taller. Both sexes combat gender expectations.
Honestly, I am pulled in two directions: I feel bad she has to struggle for not fitting in society’s mold and happy she found someone.
How about you? What does this picture conjure up for you?
Now, how about megastar Madonna, 63, and ex-boyfriend, 27 — a whopping 36-year difference. When she was dating him, Madonna got a lot of flak for being with a man only a few years older than her daughter.
Gossip talk-show host Wendy Williams dared to call her a “grandma” and said “she’s become that old lady that I feel bad for, because, I don’t think she understands that it’s ok to grow older gracefully.”
Seriously? Who’s to say they’re not in love? I’m biased because my man is 17 years younger than me. People praised me for snatching a young, handsome man while his parent’s hopes of becoming grandparents were scattered.
I admit I felt insecure knowing he’ll miss out on fatherhood, but he assured me he wasn’t with me to bear a child. He just wanted to grow old with me. I did wonder if my man will eventually divorce me as he aged realizing he wanted to be a father.
In Madonna’s case, something similar happened. Fans didn’t understand what he saw in her besides money and fame. It’s not like she could bear a child. Her “plastic” look was also bashed to pieces, but that’s another topic.
Is it wrong for an older woman to date a younger man knowing full well she may deny him a child?
What do you think?
Now, look at Shane and Hannah here. Shane has spinal muscular atrophy, causing incredibly weak muscles. Doctors told him he wouldn’t live past the age of two, but he’s now 30 and going strong with his wife, Hannah, whom he met eight years ago.
Hannah is Shane’s primary caretaker and, as you can see, fit and attractive. That didn’t stop people from attacking their relationship. They said things like, “This is photoshopped omg.”
“wtf”
“Does she has another partner for having sex with?”
“Is he rich or something?”
“Some women will do anything and everything for money,”
“This is some kind of joke.”
You see, people couldn’t attack her for her looks so they chose the sex and money angle. If she was fat or ugly, people would probably accuse her of sticking with a disabled guy because she couldn’t find an abled man.
They went as far as to call their wedding in 2020 a “sham.”
Let me remind you this is a couple whose sole purpose for producing content and sharing their story is to normalize inter-abled relationships and to show “disabled people are worthy partners,” per Hannah.
Let’s be real
Taylor Swift asked in her hit song Mean, which tackled bullying, why you gotta be so mean? I agree there is no reason to bash people who don’t feel into your worldview.
But, I ask you to look beyond the surface. Maybe you date those you deem appropriate for your culture, status, and sex. Or maybe you’re a rebel and refuse to be typecast.
Whatever the case, what does an ideal couple look like for you — honestly?
