Emotions and feelings
What Can Fear Do To A Human Being
Human beings are special creatures in the world.
We are people who have thoughts, emotions, and interests. That is an amazing phenomenon. I can’t think of anything else that has the same as we have.
In the moments of our thoughts, emotions, and interest there could be a lot of fear. That is very close to each other, in fact. In every thought, emotion, and interest we know there will be a fear that is a reaction to how your thoughts are at that moment from that particular event.
If you have thoughts about why you don’t want to go to that specific restaurant because that holds you back to go, it is a fear that comes from something that happened to you. Your boyfriend broke up in that specific restaurant. Actually, you want to try their new menu. The emotion you have then, that is holding you back from going, could be a reaction that you are going to be stiff when you think about that particular event that happened. Your thoughts block you at that moment. But you’re really interested in their new menu. The fear is going into the restaurant. This is a reaction of a fear coming from a feeling that gave you another fear: that your ex-partner could be there too, at least that is what you think (which could not be true, of course), but you don’t want to meet him as he was the one breaking up with you. That caused a lot of pain you don’t want to feel anymore. The fear of feeling that pain again. That’s what you don’t want to feel again. It just hurts. Too much.
As a musician, you don’t want to play that specific piece with your colleagues. Your father listened to that special piece a lot. He passed away a few months ago. You had a great bond with your father. That hurts when you play and listen to that specific music your father loved so much. The feeling that you miss your father a lot. You try to see him sitting in his favorite chair and listen to it every day. You imagine walking into his working room and expect to see him again, but he is not there anymore. The room is empty. The feeling you get is emptiness and you don’t want to feel an empty hole in your heart. You won’t feel that anymore, but that is a fear you create yourself. It belongs to a healing process.
That feeling or emotion when something hurts you a lot is something that belongs to your life. It is how we cope with it. For each of us will be (very) different. Just because every individual has another character and interests. Thus the way you handle situations.
As a parent, I am doing voluntary work at the school of my children. When I’m having a meeting I have some emotions and thoughts of how we are organizing. All these thoughts, emotions and interests we have to bring together. With the school and children in our mind. Some thoughts about what we want to do, we have to leave and can’t do it. There are emotions involved as well. These are no sad emotions and thoughts as spoken before.
Let me clear this up for you. Let say I have to organize the Christmas show at the school of my children. I am the chairwoman of this group. I have to lead the board members. There are three other members: John, Olivia, and Nathan. The director of the school gave us an assignment. We have to bring up a big play about Christmas, the school has to be is a Christmas sphere, there will be dinner for each group of the school and during that part, parents having a dinner on the terrace of the school having gluhwein and talking to each other. Each one of us has thoughts on how we want to achieve that. We bring up our ideas for the play, pick one from the available ones, give each other tasks who is doing what and then go with the flow. The emotion is the sphere you want to create, the feeling. You could create a fear for yourself: that it will be a failure for the whole group and school That you can’t do it. But in fact, you can, you will and that is what your task is with your group. Of course, there will be people who like it what you have done.
I’ve got a lot of fear in my life. I spoke about it earlier, but I’ve been bullied my school life, I had lot’s of negative personal issues I had to deal with and I’m dealing with it. It gives me a lot of thoughts and emotions to think about. These negative events in my life gave me fear to talk about it. I avoid these conversations because it hurts. I know I should, but it hurts a lot.
But these emotions and thoughts can lead to have or create fear to do what you actually love to do. How can we live with fear in a way that it won’t be fear anymore, but strengths in life? This is a question I ask myself a lot lately. The answer is still not clear to me.
What hurts are these thoughts in combination with the emotion that comes from it.
What hurts you and you don’t allow yourself talking about the issues on your mind, will eventually lead to having fear what you really want to do: going to that restaurant and try their new menu, and playing that beautiful piece your father loved very much (isn’t that what your father wants?). If you’re still going to do that, your heart is healing. They will be gone soon and you can cope with it. You always wear it in your heart, but you know you don’t have to be afraid anymore.
Fear means, at least to me, that you’re afraid to do something that you want to do. Then, in the end, you’re not doing it, because you’re afraid to.
What happens when you talk about these issues? What happens when you have talked about that. Tha’s different for each one of us. But somehow it feels relieved. Something is ‘out’ of your body and mind. In my case, the negativity will still be there, but you have said it out loud. To me, that feels so damn good. It is very important to let that feeling and fear go somehow and cope with it in a good way.
Agnes Laurens is a writer. She writes for the local newspaper. Agnes lives in Bunnik, The Netherlands, with her husband and three daughters. Writing is — aside from playing the violin — one of her passions since childhood. She is on Twitter and Instagram.
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