What Came First: The Small Penis or the Big Money?
Having a big penis keeps your country poor.
Oops! They did it again! Much to our surprise (or is it?) penises managed to shove themselves into yet another unrelated subject: economic growth!
When you consider the factors that influence the growth of a country, what comes to mind first? Some would say social and political resources, technological innovation, or natural resources.
Wrong! It’s penile length!
Having a big penis keeps your country poor.
According to this study conducted by Tatu Westling of The University of Helsinki and the Helsinki Center of Economic Research (HECER), between 1960 and 1985, countries that reported a smaller penis size grew at a faster rate than those with bigger sizes.
Before diving into an explanation as to why that happens, let me allow myself and you a moment to scoff at how randomly weird this world is.
Westling, however, was unfazed by the results of the study and comes up with an explanation even Freud would be proud of.
Penile length, together with earnings, are both key factors in male self-esteem. If you’re doing good on the former, you can relax about the latter.
To put it bluntly, fast economic growth is the equivalent of a big shiny car that you’re parading around town. It’s compensating for something.
Men define themselves by how large their manhood is and if they feel they fall short (pun intended), they try to make it big (pun intended again) in other fields that interest them, like the size of their wallet.
The explanation albeit sad, is not even half bad until you realize that a lot of people don’t have penises.
That’s when the explanation becomes more than a half bad, considering women (the non-penised ones) constitute more than a half of the world population.
A factor that was not taken into consideration and which makes the whole theory not entirely wrong, but definitely incomplete. Flawed. Maybe even negligible.
Oh, my, let’s be careful with our words, because if we get anywhere close to the word “small” in the same sentence as the word “penis”, we’re going to have to compensate for something here, people!
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