What Being an Unintentional Size Queen Taught Me About Sex

The truth about well-hung guys

I saw dicks in porn long before I saw any in real life.

Having access to hardcore porn at a young age gave me a very explicit window into the world of sex. I got to see how it worked, the different positions you could do, and I fell in love with the sound of pornstars moaning and groaning.

It also meant the first cocks I was exposed to were very much above average in size.

That was shocking to me. They were so big they almost seemed fake.

But I figured pornstars had the biggest cocks because they had the best cocks.

That was basically the only thing I knew about dicks at the time — that bigger was apparently better.

I had never been anywhere near a cock, but I somehow already had the idea that you were supposed to admire the big ones, pray you’ll end up with a guy who’s hung, and enjoy all the amazing sex you’ll have at the receiving end of his huge hog.

Now that I’m more experienced, I know that the truth is a lot more complicated. Fucking a bigger cock does make a difference — but it’s not always a good one.

The Universe Tried to Make Me a Size Queen

Sometimes, I feel like I was set up to become a size queen. All the best sex I’ve had was with guys who were above average.

That started with my first boyfriend. Fucking him was a life-changing experience. We were two virgins fumbling with each other, but taking him inside me felt so fucking good.

I finally understood it. Sex wasn’t just fascinating, interesting, or fun. It felt like nothing else and I wanted it to become a big part of my life.

The cock that gave me that experience was a bit smaller than I expected it to be. After being exposed to so much porn dick, I had to adjust my expectations.

I assumed my boyfriend was average sized, but I was wrong. It wasn’t massive like the ones I had seen on screen, but it was above six inches in length for sure.

I wanted more, but I wouldn’t be getting it from him. We didn’t last much longer.

After him there was a string of other guys. The sex was usually quick and mostly uneventful.

Then I started seeing Todd.

What I had with Todd was kind of superficial, but that honestly didn’t matter. He was hot and we were very sexually compatible.

He was also really fun to fuck. He pounded me like an athlete. We experimented with different positions. And he was really present whenever we were getting dirty.

The other memorable thing about Todd is that his cock was huge. It’s the biggest I’ve been with. Nine inches for sure, if not a bit more, with some generous girth to match its length.

You can only keep a purely physical relationship going for so long. That fiery passion was bound to burn out, and it did when I met another guy I fell head over heels for.

That guy wound up shattering my heart. And the first person to help me put it back together was Jason.

Jason is the reason I can’t say that one night stands suck. I saw him twice, fucked him once, and he was out of my life — but it’s still one of the best sexual experiences I’ve ever had.

I met him on a train and formed a fast and deep connection with him. He was handsome and seemed so mature. Having a conversation with him felt natural and he kept me captivated for hours.

I was intensely attracted to him, but we parted ways when we reached our destination.

I spent the next few days regretting that I didn’t get to take things further. Then, we met again on another train ride. This was fate — and my chance to fuck him.

Deep into the night, while all the other passengers were sound asleep, we fooled around under a blanket.

By that point in my life I had handled a few cocks, but I was still caught off guard by his. It was so thick that my thumb couldn’t reach any of my other fingers when I wrapped my hand around it.

I was kind of worried that taking such a massive shaft would hurt. It didn’t. His cock slid into me easily and gave me an overwhelmingly pleasurable fuck.

Soon after Jason, I met Mr. Austin.

Mr. Austin wasn’t my first. He wasn’t a sexual dynamo like Todd. Meeting him wasn’t a romantic stars-aligning situation like the one I had with Jason. But he gave me something no other guy had given me before: orgasms. Lots and lots of orgasms.

He touched me like he had a map to my body. Everything he did felt just right. And he knew how to use his dick — he fucked me so well I came hard. He left me spent, exhausted, panting, and wanting a whole lot more of what he had just given me.

His cock wasn’t as thick as Jason’s, but he was girthy. It wasn’t as long as Todd’s, but it measured in at 8 inches (yes, I’ve measured it — I wanted cold, hard numbers).

Fifteen years ago, I would’ve said that none of this was a coincidence. That all this great sex probably had something to do with how big these guys were.

But I ended up marrying that girthy eight inches. And now that I have plenty of big dick experience, I know there’s a lot more to the story.

Size is definitely a factor. It changes the way sex feels. But it doesn’t always change it for the better and sometimes a big dick can be a big obstacle.

Big Dick Sex Is Full of Modifications

Even though sex with my husband is incredibly pleasurable and satisfying, I gave up on it for years.

We were in a sexless marriage and I was convinced we would be in one forever. The size of his cock was partly to blame.

Fucking him was easy and came naturally at first. But about six months into our relationship, it became difficult. I could tolerate it at times, but taking his cock often became uncomfortable or downright painful.

I didn’t really understand it at the time, but now I know that what I experienced was cervical pain. The deep dick I was getting from him kept jabbing against my cervix and the sensation was unbearable.

It was so bad that I started bracing myself for it when we had sex. And all that fear and anxiety surrounding penetration caused me to develop vaginismus.

Vaginismus is a condition that makes your vaginal muscles contract involuntarily during penetration. Your body basically creates a self-defense mechanism against sex.

That resulted in incredibly painful penetration. So painful that I would regularly cry after getting fucked.

That’s an extreme outcome, but it’s not all that uncommon. And it happens to other women whose partners are too big for easy, comfortable sex.

Even when it doesn’t result in a painful condition, though, sex with a guy who’s packing a lot of size can be a challenge.

Some positions are tougher. What you struggle with depends on the dick and the lady taking it, but I personally have a hard time with doggy style sex. Which is a shame, because a good, hard, ass-slapping pounding from behind is fucking great.

You also have to be more mindful of angles. Getting the angle wrong with a longer cock can make you wince instead of making you moan.

That makes it tougher to experiment with new positions. It often starts with us trying to get it right, me saying “I don’t think this is going to work” after a few attempts, and then going back to one of our tried and true sex positions (spooning is a reliable way to get a more comfortable fuck).

When we do manage to get it right, Mr. Austin often has to fuck me carefully. There are some positions where I can’t take him at full depth and he has to make sure he’s only giving me shallow thrusts.

Blowjobs Are Much Harder to Give

I sincerely admire the work pornstars do. Sucking a huge dick can be a major feat of endurance, but they manage to blow their well-hung co-stars to completion while making it look effortless.

I wish I could pull that off, but I just can’t.

I love giving head. When my libido is on an upswing, it becomes a standard part of my foreplay because it turns both of us on.

It’s a lot of fun, but it always ends too soon because of his size.

Giving head to a girthy cock means you always have to choose between tapping out early or dealing with sore jaws and lips that ache from being stretched out for too long.

A bit of flavored lube helps. But I still can’t give him head for more than a few minutes, no matter how much of it I use.

And because I can’t deep throat, it means I can’t take much of my husband’s cock in my mouth.

I would love to give him longer blowjobs (he would appreciate it too), but I just can’t. I have to call it quits soon after starting because it’s just too much.

It’s such a challenge that now my blowjob fantasies tend to involve smaller cocks. Cocks I could fit in my mouth more easily. Cocks I could blow for as long as I feel like it. Cocks I have a decent chance of finishing off with my mouth.

Anal Is Nowhere Near As Easy As It Should Be

Anal sex is a big part of my fantasies, too. It’s one of my favorite things to watch in porn and it’s something I want to enjoy regularly in my life.

For us, regularly means about once every month or two. I’d rather do it more often, but it’s not that easy to pull off with a girthy guy.

There are things you can do to make anal sex much easier.

Lots of good quality lube is essential. Relaxing and bearing down so you open up to that cock are important too. Being really fucking horny also helps tremendously.

But even with all those things working in my favor, I can’t guarantee a successful ass fucking. I’ll be able to take a finger or two without a problem. I can manage butt plugs. But I can’t always accommodate my husband’s cock.

That means I have to take a very detached approach to anal. Every time I attempt it, I know there’s a decent chance I’ll have to tap out and give up.

Arousal, Time, and Patience

When I look back at the amazing sex I had with Todd, Jason, and Mr. Austin, there’s one thing that really stands out.

It’s not the sizes of their cocks — though they’re all well-endowed.

It’s how incredibly horny they made me.

I had passionate sexual chemistry with Todd. I formed a quick and intense connection with Jason that turned me the fuck on. And I felt an emotional bond with Mr. Austin that drove my demisexual heart wild.

If it wasn’t for the intense arousal I felt with them, I’m sure their above-average sizes would’ve been a problem.

In fact, it was a problem with Mr. Austin. Once our honeymoon period was over, I didn’t always get that breathless horniness I felt at the start of our relationship.

I was horny enough to want to fuck. I’d get so worked up that I’d have sex on the mind all day. But it wasn’t always enough to make fucking him comfortable.

That happens to a lot of people who are in relationships with big dicked guys. When you’re full of new relationship energy, you’re horny and wet enough to take practically any size cock without too much trouble (though blowjobs are probably still tough).

Once that rush is gone and things start to settle, though, their size can start to feel like an obstacle to quick and easy sex.

And dealing with that obstacle is what taught me that bigger isn’t always better. And that sometimes, smaller can be preferable.

I don’t say that to pander. I genuinely mean it. The universe tried to make me a size queen, but it failed.

Last year, I bought a dildo that is the size of an average cock and it has made me come many times since. I’ve sucked on it and got to see how much more comfortable that would be. My husband fucks me with it and it hits me just right. And it’s never difficult to use.

My latest purchase is an even more modest dildo. It’s a bit on the longer side, but it’s thinner — it’s one of the slimmest dildos I could find.

That’s my preference, and I know a lot of women feel the same way I do. There are genuine size queens out in the world, but there are also people who prefer smaller cocks.

But in the end, that preference doesn’t matter much. Because size is nothing compared to effort and enthusiasm. The perfect dick size could never make up for really good skill.

That’s an important thing to realize because the belief that size makes all the difference is keeping people from having better sex.

There are men who are so convinced that their dicks are too small to pleasure a woman so they don’t even try.

And then there are the really well-endowed guys who think their big dicks can do all the heaving lifting. They don’t try because they don’t think they have to.

Neither of them are going to be good fucks.

Guys who are good at sex are good at it regardless of their size. They’re great at creating sexual chemistry, they’re seductive and charming, they’re present and attentive. They’ve mastered the art of fingering and eating pussy. And they’ve got great dicksterity to cap it all off.

And if they happen to have a big cock, that just means they’ll need to work that much harder to get their partner ready for it.

Let’s keep in touch! Sign up for my weekly newsletter (I won’t send you anything without your enthusiastic consent!)

❤ If you liked this post, you might also love: