“What About Bob?” Your Way to Your Best Life

A roadmap to achieving anything you want

I must have watched the Comedy classic movie “What About Bob?” at least 5–10 times in the last 20–30 years, but it wasn’t until my last viewing of the movie during the pandemic that I realized it was a self-help diamond in the rough. The movie and its insights couldn’t have come at a more crucial time for me or the millions of others struggling with life’s woes during the Pandemic.

Personally, I had just shuttered a business I spent over 2 years building and was in a rut about what I was going to do next with my life. Instead of trying to think my way out of my problems, which rarely works, I instead Baby Stepped my way into new habits, and a new future I was excited about.

Here is a brief synopsis of the film from Amazon for those who haven’t seen it:

Comic wizard Bill Murray teams up with Academy Award winner Richard Dreyfuss in an outrageously wild comedy that’s sure to drive you off the deep end! Murray plays Bob Wiley, a troubled but lovable therapy patient who fears everything! After seeking help from noted psychiatrist Dr. Leo Marvin (Dreyfuss), Bob feels revived. But when the good doctor skips town to go on a quiet family vacation, Bob, afraid of being alone, follows — showing up unexpectedly at the therapist’s lakeside retreat. That’s when the fun really begins…

Just to give a little more context here, Dr. Leo Marvin, a psychiatrist played by Richard Dreyfuss, had recently published a new book entitled “Baby Steps.” At the end of Bob’s (Bill Murray) first session, Dr. Marvin gives Bob a copy of his new book as a prescription to treat his long list of phobias, hypochondria, OCDs amongst other maladies. Bob immediately begins putting the concept into practice. Baby steps into the hallway, baby steps into the elevator, baby steps on a bus, you get the drift here.

How can a 30 year old comedy help you regain sovereignty in your life you may ask?

So…What About Bob?

Bob Wiley’s neediness and phobias are exaggerated to the point of farce, perfect for a comedy, not so much for real life. But when you turn down the severity of those fears, Bob is just suffering from the human condition just like you and I. Given the worldwide Pandemic we have on our hands, more people than ever are struggling with social interactions, germaphobia, and other neuroses.

Bob overcomes his fears by taking action in the smallest possible measure that he could muster at any given moment, and then he does it again, and again, ad infinitum. By overcoming his fear of traveling alone, Bob baby steps his way onto a bus, and by the time he baby steps off, he is friendly with the passengers and knows them all by name.

Feelings vs. Commitments

How many times in your life did you have the greatest night after wanting to stay home? Or the best workout after you didn’t feel like going to the gym?

The difference is that we were feelings driven, we didn’t feel like going. However, once we became commitment driven, i.e. we promised someone we would be there (gym/restaurant), we stopped going back and forth in our minds and we removed the option off the table. We decided, we committed, that’s the difference. In Greek to de-cide, means to cut away all other possibilities or options.

Who amongst us doesn’t dream of someday starting a business, getting healthy, writing a book, or traveling the world? But once we get serious about starting, we usually find ourselves overwhelmed or afraid.

Overwhelm and fear are feelings, and we can act despite our feelings. We need to act greater than our feelings, we need to think greater than our limiting beliefs, we need to baby step even when we don’t want to; baby steps when we are tired, baby steps when we are hungry, and most of all baby steps when we don’t feel like it.

What about you?

After spending almost 20 years studying the science of achievement and success I believe that whatever it is you want to accomplish in your life, someone has already done it and laid out a blueprint for your path. Tim Ferriss’ Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors are perfect examples of publicly available blueprints to your goals, with countless success stories from all walks of life and across all domains imaginable.

Here are the first 3 baby steps to get you started:

1. Figure out what you want (write a book, start a business, get six pack abs, find a partner, etc.).
2. Figure out ‘why’ you want it, and be sure that the ‘why’ resonates with you deeply. Going after a dream using other people’s why is a terrible idea. Here are some examples of terrible why’s, because my mother wants me to be a doctor, it’s a family tradition, my friend Tina made a lot of money doing it, etc.
3. Figure out where you are starting from. Take an honest assessment of your skills, abilities, assets, and liabilities as it relates to this specific goal. Be honest and whenever possible ask a third party for feedback, someone you trust to be honest with you and whom you are comfortable being vulnerable with.

Now that you know what you want, why you want it, and where you are starting from, you need to commit to a plan of action with a timeline, a ‘by when.’ I omitted those last few baby steps from the above list because I needed to draw the line somewhere, otherwise I would be doing all the work for you.

Whether your goal is to be to next Tony Robbins, Tony Danza, or Tony Hawk, or maybe you just want to get back to your pre-Pandemic way of life, the path has been paved, the roadmap is a couple google searches away. Now if you can only channel your inner Bill Murray as you baby step your way into your new future, one things for sure, it will be one heck of a fun ride.