We’re All Puppets to Our Subconscious Mind

Unless you take control of the strings

Our behaviours — actions and reactions — are a result of our belief system. We developed our beliefs about ourselves and the world as we were growing up.

The core of our beliefs lives in our subconscious minds. They determine how we act in any given situation. In this sense, you can think of your subconscious mind as the puppet master pulling the strings based on what you believe to be true.

Some of these beliefs are supportive and some are limiting.

An example of a supportive belief is I‘m a good person. Whereas, a limiting belief maybe I’m not worthy of love.

How this puppet master controls your every move

It’s weird to think about your subconscious mind like a puppet master, but it’s true. This is why some people feel overwhelmed in a situation, while others remain perfectly calm (these people annoy me).

When a behaviour stems from a good belief, we feel happy and relaxed. Our good strings get pulled.

When our behaviour stems from a limiting belief, the troublemaker, we tend to overreact, get angry, feel mistreated, blame others, question why we’re not good enough and more. Our bad strings get pulled.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” — Charles R. Swindoll

For example, let’s say someone cuts you off on the highway. Your kids are in the back seat. You get angry and aggressively shout at the other driver — who can’t even hear you by the way.

You’re reacting in anger, rage even. Five seconds later, you regret how you reacted. Your kids saw you in a fit, swearing at some stranger. You wonder what you were thinking.

Well, you weren’t thinking.

Your puppet master was pulling the strings. Using what you learned as a child, about other people’s behaviour, to pull your anger string.

You are a marionette responding to each twist and turn.

When you were a kid, this might be how your caregivers or teachers responded to other people’s behaviour. You learned to react in a fit of rage just like they did. Note: They are not to blame. You’re the adult now.

Or maybe it’s a result of feeling like you were unheard, or unseen as a child. Even if this wasn’t actually true, it’s what your child-like mind took in and still believes.

Now this driver cuts you off like you weren’t even there. Inside your subconscious mind, your puppet master is shouting “Hey asshole I’m here! Didn’t you see me?” Then low and behold poof you start shouting.

The question is, now that you’re aware of the puppet master pulling your behaviour strings, how do you get a hold of the crossbars?

It’s not going to be easy, but here’s what’s been working for me to shift my beliefs and as a result, my behaviour.

Open up to other ways of thinking about yourself

1. You first need to become aware of what string gets pulled in any given situation.
2. Then, be open to questioning your behaviours rather than the behaviour of others.
3. Accept that there are better ways to respond.
4. Be willing to dig deep into your subconscious mind. To peel back the layers and bring your doubts and fears to the surface.
5. Acknowledge that you’re flawed. We all are. This is ok. It’s perfectly normal in fact.

Next is to take action by putting in the work

Now that you’ve opened up, the next step is to put in the actual work to get a hold of those damn crossbars controlling the strings. As I said, it’s not going to be easy.

There will be times when you want to give up. You might even find yourself curled up in a ball crying sometimes. But believe me, when you put in the work and practise you’ll see positive results in your behaviour.

Your beliefs will shift and you’ll start to like yourself and others more. Yup, this can actually happen. I was surprised too.

Here’s what you can do to start controlling your own behaviour:

1. Journal. Write down what’s going on inside your head. Write until your hand hurts. Every day if you can. Peel it back. Dig deep so you can start to understand why you react the way you do. The deeper you dig the closer you get to your subconscious mind and taking hold of those strings.
2. Meditate. I know for some this feels like a waste of time. Sitting there doing nothing. But it’s the exact opposite. When you practice meditating — yes, it’s a practice — you learn to slow your thoughts down. Maybe even have a gap between thoughts. This is when you can truly listen. Like you, your brain needs a break. Start at 5 minutes a day and slowly build from there.
3. Self-compassion. Be nicer to yourself. When you react shitty to a situation and you wish you had done better, tell yourself it’s ok. You’re learning and you’re trying to do better. This takes time. We’re not used to being nice to ourselves, especially when we make mistakes. You’re human. You’re supposed to make mistakes. This is how you learn.

Our subconscious mind is the puppet master behind the scene, controlling our behaviour. It all stems from what we learned growing up. Luckily, you can take a hold of the crossbars and start controlling how you respond to life. It’s not easy, but if you put in the work, you’ll be the one pulling the strings.

For inspiration from other writers take a look at the articles below.

To move past judgment and tackle your inner voice check out the article by Megan Llorente

And kick stress to the curb by mastering your mind with Martina Doleckova