We Found Our Love Again

Summary

The author and their spouse are rekindling their connection after years of focusing on their son's autism diagnosis, emphasizing the importance of small, consistent actions in strengthening their marriage.

Abstract

In their 21st year of marriage, the author and their wife have come to realize the necessity of reconnecting with each other. They had inadvertently grown apart due to the demands of work, parenting, and the busyness of life, particularly after their son's autism diagnosis. Recognizing their disconnection, they have started to reintegrate meaningful activities into their relationship, such as taking walks, playing cards, and watching movies, while setting a rule to avoid discussing problems during their time together. The author likens marriage to a ship, where minor adjustments can significantly alter its course, suggesting that it's the small choices that enhance a relationship. The article concludes with the author inviting readers to share their own methods of connecting with their partners and promoting related stories and a YouTube video.

Opinions

The author believes that consistent, small actions are crucial in improving a marriage, much like how a rudder steers a ship.
They express that it's common for married couples to drift apart due to external pressures and responsibilities.
The author and their wife have found value in setting aside time to engage in leisure activities and communicate as friends, without the intrusion of daily stressors.
They advocate for the importance of listening and understanding in a marriage, suggesting that these elements are key to reconnecting with one's partner.
The author implies that they have a deep commitment to their son's well-being but acknowledges the need to balance this with the health of their marital relationship.

It’s easy to become disconnected in marriage

Author photo: My wife and I eating pulled pork.

My wife and I have been learning a very simple lesson in our 21st year of marriage: We need to reconnect with each other in our relationship.

It’s easy to become disconnected as a married couple.

Work. Kids. Busyness.

We became hyper-focused on supporting the needs of our son after he was diagnosed with autism at three and neglected to nurture our relationship for years. We were like a frog in a boiling pot with the temperature slowly rising.

We didn’t realize we’d become disconnected.

But, lately, we’ve been reconnecting by taking walks, playing cards, watching a movie, or talking as friends–with a rule to not talk about problems while we’re talking with each other. We’re focusing on listening and understanding.

A marriage is like the Titanic. You don’t change the course of your marriage by making big, sweeping changes. It’s those small choices you make that improve your relationship — just like a tiny rudder on a ship steers the course of a ship.

What do you do to connect with your spouse?

Thanks for reading my story.

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