We Didn’t Get a Second Opinion

Please stop asking.

Our house’s foundation is, to put it simply, messed up. One corner is sinking into the ground, another corner is twisting away from the first, and the porch is trying to liberate itself from the front of the house.

We had someone come out a few weeks ago and tell us all of this, at which point he gave us a quote for $76,000 worth of work. It’s a lot, I know, and my partner and I wound up signing the contract after sitting on it for one stressed-out night and several conversations with friends. We didn’t get a second opinion.

We probably should’ve, sure — that’s common wisdom, and someone could’ve given us a better quote. But this happened on my first day back to work after taking four weeks off to cope with finding my friend’s body in the bathtub, so neither my partner nor I had the mental wherewithal to deal with it.

I understand that the people who ask this care about me and want to make sure I’m not getting screwed. My grandma, bless her heart, has asked me about this several times. She just wants what’s best for her grandson, and she doesn’t want to see me get screwed out of a bunch of money. I get it.

That said, please stop reacting poorly when I say “no.” Please do not chide me for not getting a second opinion, please do not insult my intelligence, and please do not tell me I’m flushing money down the drain somehow. I am a goddamn adult, let me make my own choices in peace.

All I ask is that, when you ask whether I got a second opinion and I answer “no,” you say “cool,” and we move on with the conversation. It’s not hard.

Could I be making a big mistake? Sure, that’s entirely possible. But it’s my mistake to make. I’ve already worked out the details of how I’m going to pay for it, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s already done.

I’m just tired of being second-guessed by people. Again, I understand that the people in my life care about me and don’t want me to be screwed somehow, but it’s already done and that’s all there is to say about that.

Life has kicked me around way too much lately. I don’t need everyone else to pile on, thanks. Not that I don’t love you and appreciate you looking out for me, I’m just so, so tired of all of the bad stuff that has happened to me in the past few months. I know you’re just trying to be supportive, but it just feels like rubbing salt in the wound.

Blargh.

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