I Am So, So Tired of Life Kicking Me
Seriously, please stop.
I’m very tired this morning. I didn’t sleep much last night, the sleep I got wasn’t great, and I’m just generally not doing great right now. Life has thrown yet another curve ball my way, and I simply do not have the energy to write much of anything right now.
I’m so tired of all of the bad shit that happens to me. It’s kind of funny, in a way, how much it feels like whatever god or gods may be out there seem to have it out for me sometimes. I started to write an article to that effect, but I made myself depressed thinking of all of the ways that life has screwed me over in the past decade, so I stopped. Maybe I’ll get it out in a few days.
I am so, so tired right now. I’ve spent the past four weeks resting and recuperating from all of the events around my friend’s death, and I was feeling pretty good about starting work again. Yesterday, my first day back, I learned that I get to pay $80,000 to fix my house, and I just deflated so hard.
Right now, I’m trying to figure out how to pay for this. I mean, I know that I’m just going to have to make monthly payments for a whole bunch of years like just about every other person in the world, but I just absolutely hate that. I make enough for my partner and me to live comfortably, but this is making me very uncomfortable right now, and I really, really hate that.
I don’t know what else to really say. It’s been ten years of bad luck and I have no idea what I did to deserve it. I hate it, I hate this, and I just kind of want to cry, but it won’t help anything. All I can do is keep trudging on through like I always do.
Fuck everything.
Or, you can support me over on Ko-Fi if you’re feeling particularly kind. I would really, really appreciate it.