avatarChristina M. Ward

Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

3155

Abstract

the years it is that there are life lessons in hurting. It teaches you to dig hard for the silver linings, to persevere, and to focus on what you <i>can</i> do rather than what you cannot.</p><p id="344e">For now, we reapply ourselves to the home search. We weather the storms of emotion that come with the losses of one property after another — as they all go under contract before we even get the chance to look at them. And we hold on to the hope that one property will slip by the initial round of shoppers and we’ll have a shot at it. Today we are viewing two such properties — and who knows, maybe one of them will sing “home” to us.</p><p id="f059">In looking for the silver linings of the loss of our farm house dream, and as a person of faith, I have found a few things to cling to:</p><ul><li>God may be sparing us from a property that would have not been right for us</li><li>We may have been getting in over our heads with this older home that needed work</li><li>There may be something better out there for us</li><li>We will be ok</li></ul><p id="93d3">In practicing gratitude through pain, we are keeping our focus on what really matters: our family, being together, making home wherever we find it.</p><p id="b686">So we can’t have the house we fell in love with. We’ll resign ourselves to fall in love with the home we find and purchase— wherever that may be, as imperfect as it may be, and whenever the opportunity falls into place for us.</p><h2 id="1a08">Find the life lessons in your pain.</h2><p id="5f6d">It’s the only way to navigate the pitfalls of life and keep your hope intact. It will all be okay — if you decide it so.</p><p id="5b73">Another silver lining — the little white farmhouse, as short-lived an experience as it was, gave me some great writing material:</p><h2 id="4391">Pending curation:</h2><div id="f8bb" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/delay-of-gratification-6b7e0523c84f"> <div> <div> <h2>Delay of Gratification</h2> <div><h3>a Rhupunt poem</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*aOqXroEuG15Y90Rn_TvrKQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="e78e" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/life-in-boxes-a-free-verse-poem-21823406d510"> <div> <div> <h2>Life, in Boxes — a free verse poem</h2> <div><h3>Stress — an uncomfortable bedfellow</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*iCu_bnhWDdytWS2YLt6WKA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="a073" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/grace-in-the-home-buying-process-fc057791da79"> <div> <div> <h2>Grace in the

Options

Home Buying Process</h2> <div><h3>Handling yourself with a bit of dignity when you just want to scream and cry</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*aVmSfLW5cCczrbYkWDY6Aw.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><h2 id="bc11">Not curated but should have been:</h2><div id="6acc" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/turn-me-to-stone-faed569f8c56"> <div> <div> <h2>Turn Me to Stone</h2> <div><h3>a free verse poem on new beginnings, garden dreams of our new property</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*kSpKVpWckA-Q0exEsNVHLg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="a852" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/ramshackle-barn-17dd09f5942c"> <div> <div> <h2>Ramshackle Barn</h2> <div><h3>a free-verse poem by poet Christina M. Ward</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Nb_nwXUtawUcfDog-0dcGQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><h2 id="383c">Curated in Fiction:</h2><div id="b3d7" class="link-block"> <a href="https://psiloveyou.xyz/for-the-love-of-horses-a6e8b00a77b9"> <div> <div> <h2>For the Love of Horses</h2> <div><h3>Fiction Friday</h3></div> <div><p>psiloveyou.xyz</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*g3A0i4TvlNg9lNLC1e5X0Q.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="c698">Thanks for reading.</p><p id="9616"><a href="https://readmedium.com/87a63af50103?source=post_page-----1eec740bb066----------------------"><i>Christina M. Ward</i></a><i> is a rural-living, well-living, hope-living writer from North Carolina. She also is quite fond of writing environmental and human condition poetry that you just might like such as <a href="https://readmedium.com/symbiosis-c6ccdb999a74">Symbiosis,</a> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-wisdom-of-trees-bbbac17ec82e?source=friends_link&amp;sk=56e0b7e2eb635d4485e9c8768d54a363">The Wisdom of Trees,</a> and <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-vantage-point-of-stars-1b9ae5dee13b?source=friends_link&amp;sk=16fe2eb19e7c37ca12082ed44c256622">The Vantage Point of Stars</a>. You can sign up for her free <a href="https://christinaward.substack.com/">Author Newsletter</a> or follow her <a href="https://t.co/cwJROdSnKj?amp=1">on social media</a>.</i></p></article></body>

ESSAY

We Can’t Buy the House We Love

But there’s a lesson in it hurting this much

Image by Dietmar Ematinger from Pixabay

To say that my family has seen disappointment, that I have seen it, is a glaring understatement. I spent the first decade of my adult years blaming myself for my own poor decisions, rather than seeking the life lessons in hurt. I went through moving from rental house to rental house, two divorces and a custody battle, and all of the complications that being a low-income family present.

Funny how a little age and time can make all the difference. At 46, I no longer sit around blaming myself for things. At some point, you realize it is counterproductive and leads to awful guilt that keeps you up at night. None of that is healthy.

We, my boyfriend and I, have finally been approved for a home loan after a good 10 years of credit work and dedicating ourselves to this purpose. We’ve moved 4 times in the 10 years we’ve been together. One sucky rental situation to another.

But now it’s time to buy a home. We are super excited except that our price range does not allow us to have very many options. And honestly, most of our options are kinda scary.

After looking for only a few weeks we found a little white farmhouse that we fell in love with. We asked the seller if they would be willing to do the repairs required to allow the property to be approved by our USDA loan. They agreed. We made an offer which they accepted. We had a closing date.

Then we discovered the awful news that they had lied to us.

There was no money for repairs and they had no intention of doing repairs. The seller knew it from the beginning.

We had already paid for the inspector to come out and then a host of other inspectors that came out and came up with a $10,000 total of the repairs that needed to be made. The seller then asked for us to pay for those repairs which would put the property above the actual value of the property which means we cannot purchase the property. Our loan will not approve for a property at an amount higher than the actual value of the property. If we rolled the repairs in with our loan, we’d be paying 9000 more than the appraised value of the home.

We are hurt and angry that we were lied to. We are hurt and angry that all of the dreams we had about this beautiful piece of property are now over. We are angry that we spent $475 for inspections and we cannot get that money back. But most of all we are simply hurt.

If I’ve learned anything over the years it is that there are life lessons in hurting. It teaches you to dig hard for the silver linings, to persevere, and to focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot.

For now, we reapply ourselves to the home search. We weather the storms of emotion that come with the losses of one property after another — as they all go under contract before we even get the chance to look at them. And we hold on to the hope that one property will slip by the initial round of shoppers and we’ll have a shot at it. Today we are viewing two such properties — and who knows, maybe one of them will sing “home” to us.

In looking for the silver linings of the loss of our farm house dream, and as a person of faith, I have found a few things to cling to:

  • God may be sparing us from a property that would have not been right for us
  • We may have been getting in over our heads with this older home that needed work
  • There may be something better out there for us
  • We will be ok

In practicing gratitude through pain, we are keeping our focus on what really matters: our family, being together, making home wherever we find it.

So we can’t have the house we fell in love with. We’ll resign ourselves to fall in love with the home we find and purchase— wherever that may be, as imperfect as it may be, and whenever the opportunity falls into place for us.

Find the life lessons in your pain.

It’s the only way to navigate the pitfalls of life and keep your hope intact. It will all be okay — if you decide it so.

Another silver lining — the little white farmhouse, as short-lived an experience as it was, gave me some great writing material:

Pending curation:

Not curated but should have been:

Curated in Fiction:

Thanks for reading.

Christina M. Ward is a rural-living, well-living, hope-living writer from North Carolina. She also is quite fond of writing environmental and human condition poetry that you just might like such as Symbiosis, The Wisdom of Trees, and The Vantage Point of Stars. You can sign up for her free Author Newsletter or follow her on social media.

Life
Life Lessons
Family
Short Story
This Happened To Me
Recommended from ReadMedium