We As Women Need to Brag More Often

If a man brags, he can get away with it. If a woman does it, it’s apparently unseemly. What a load of crock.

“So, how’s life been?”

This question is prompted by an acquaintance I bumped into in an entirely unimportant social situation.

I’ve taken on the habit of being truthful, so I said: “To be honest? Life is fantastic. I’m exceptionally happy right now. I didn’t ever dream that life could be this great!”

I guess this guy wasn’t a huge fan of honesty:

“Yeah… sorry, that’s a huge petpeeve of mine. Bragging. I would suggest not doing it, it’s not a good colour on you. Women should be more humble.”

Women. Not people in general. Women should be more humble.

This interaction speaks to a bigger social issue that believes it’s ugly for women to talk positively about their lives, but men are given full permission to do so. As often, and as loudly, as they please.

And it’s total bullsh*t.

I’ve spent my whole life trying to be humble.

Coat-tailing on my recent article about the time when a less-experienced, awfully-full-of-himself male entrepreneur tried to insinuate he should be my mentor without getting the details of how my successful business was going, I’m feeling a little triggered by men treating me as lesser than, simply because I’m a woman.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t need him as a mentor — if anything, it should have been the other way around. But he just assumed that he was the “better entrepreneur” because he was willing to unashamedly brag about the success he’d achieved.

God forbid a woman be more experienced as a business person than a man.

This is just one of many examples throughout my life when I could have easily come out and stated the facts of my life and success, but held back because I’ve been taught by society to be humble.

Imagine that: not stating the truth of our own success. Why? Because we’re labelled as bragging, simply for the reason that the words happen to be coming out of a woman’s mouth.

Society likes to tell us to be humble — when really, what they’re actually telling us is to just shut the f*ck up.

Sure, men could instead just be more humble, but we have to exercise OUR OWN power to achieve equality, you know.

If you haven’t caught on by now, this header is exercising some creative humor.

So before all the angry misogynists attack, just be aware that it’s called satire.

Or, at least a bit of it is.

Because even in satire and humor, there is a sliver of truth that exists.

In an ideal world, we would ALL exercise being more humble, and thus would reach a level of comfortable equality in how we interact with one another.

But if we leave society to its own devices, women are just going to be more and more crushed under the patriarchy.

So how can we take action? We can take up more space from a culture that is trying to actively take it away from us.

We have just as much right to take up space as our male counterparts — the only thing is, we have to be super intentional about taking back that space, as it’s more often than not already being taken away from us.

It’s not just men who are guilty of feeding into these toxic stereotypes.

I’ve done it too.

There have been times I was somehow put off when I heard or witnessed a woman unapologetically speaking the truth of what she’s achieved, and being honest about the fact that the success she’s created for herself is actually pretty f*cking awesome.

My gut reaction, which I’ve lovingly been taught by the society I was raised in, is to criticize her for bragging, and not being humble enough.

I have to catch myself and consider whether I would be just as put off if these same words were coming from a man.

The reality is that I too am guilty of feeding into these stereotypes from time to time. Because if a man had said the same words, it would have been a non-issue for me.

Final word.

We as a community need to come together and vow to do better.

No, not just vow it — but actually actively do better.

And part of this doing better is opening the floor to important conversations about issues like these — bringing them to the table, and without judgement dissecting why certain things are problematic, and what they mean in the greater scheme of things.

That’s why, even with seemingly small and insignificant issues such as whether or not women are given the same pass to brag as much as men, every little conversation we have is absolutely important.

Every little bit of change causes a wave, and makes a real difference in the fight for equality.

That little conversation over coffee about the realities of inequality matters.

A college football player calling out his teammate for inappropriately sexualizing their female classmate matters.

Taking two seconds to sign that petition to get women their deserved rights over their own bodies back matters.

Writing articles on the internet about the inequality we as women experience matters.

It all adds up over time — the more of us who are taking these actions moving forward, the faster and more astronomical the result will be in the end.

Are you willing to be part of the change? All it takes is a little more understanding, and a little more action.

Your little actions can make a serious difference for the women in your lives.