We Are Loveable Because of Our Faults and Vulnerabilities, Not in Spite of Them
Confidence is not the blessing it seems to be
Imagine a world that’s perfect. Utter perfection. Every i dotted, every t crossed. Everyone’s intentions followed through, no one a victim of anything.
Now step back.
We aren’t in that world
And that’s okay.
The world is an imperfect place, and through that imperfection comes meaning, purpose, beauty.
Perfection is not all it’s cracked up to be, and neither is its step-brother, confidence.
Certainly there is a time for both. A time for the exquisite. The perfect wedding cake, or the confident CEO. But really, even in these circumstances, isn’t it the struggle or the imperfection of the art or person which makes it interesting? Even great?
Perfection vs. character
We think we want the first, yet it’s the latter that moves us.
With confidence comes arrogance. With imperfection comes humility.
And yet, here’s another secret:
“It is perfect to be imperfect, because perfection is made up of many imperfections put together that makes it perfect.”
This truth hinges on the view that imperfections are valuable, loveable, rare. And they are. Truly. Because what other way do we have in, to relate with another person, than by their vulnerabilities?
I recently saw a performance of a percussion ensemble accompany the Buster Keaton film, Balloonatic. In it, Keaton embodies a character who makes mistake after mistake. He shoots the hot air balloon which is keeping him afloat. The woman he dotes over socks him in the eye because he makes a move too soon. He’s even incapable of catching fish, putting the ones he’s caught into a basket with no bottom so they fall through.
The character was relatable, loveable, only because of his imperfections. There would have been nothing to laugh at, or with, if the character had been 100% successful in his endeavors.
To be confident is to bulldoze over your vulnerabilities
Confidence is a curiosity, not a default state of being. It requires too much work, and is based on a lie, that everything a person does is good or successful.
Better to be based in vulnerability. Let people see who you really are. There is no shame in being flawed, human.
Sure, confidence and perfection have a place in the world. But it shouldn’t be your place, your goal. Humans are too messy. And it is in this mess that we become more fully human.
Ultimately, imperfection does result in perfection. As Thomas Edison said:
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
We mustn’t let the prospect of being vulnerable or being a failure keep us down. Because in the end, it’s the journey and not the destination which defines us.
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