Thank You For Ghosting Me

I needed my best friend to leave so I could finally grow up

I’ll be honest I’m not too crazy about being left on read, but I understand it, some people are busy with their own lives and they aren’t obligated to respond to you.

It’s just this time it did get under my skin.

I had a close friend who I loved almost as if she were my own sister. We met in junior high but really connect until high school. We got along right away, we had a lot in common especially our sense of humor, but what connected us was how we viewed the world. She was one of the kindest people I have ever met and I admired that deeply about her.

Senior year was when I felt the closest to her, it felt that she understood my struggles with anxiety and depression and was one of my biggest motivators. She was definitely my therapy friend.

After high school, we were still the greatest of friends and had a love for each other whenever we saw one another. However, as a young adult, you're going through a lot of changes and now you’re learning how to navigate those changes especially on your own.

Our dynamic changed a bit, she was on to bigger and better things and I was still struggling with mental health. We drifted away from each other for about a year. I had to find myself and navigate my way into adulthood, as I struggled with independence, I decided it was best to isolate myself. It was easier this way.

About a year later I ran into my friend again, we happened to share the same class in college. It was as if we never missed a beat. We started hanging out again, and we had our same deep talks. She told me about our old friends and how she started distancing herself from them. If only I had seen the warning signs of what was to come.

I know it may sound a bit naive but I didn’t think that it would happen to me. I thought we had a unique bond.

As time passed it seemed that the roles had almost reversed, I became the therapy friend and she would confide in me. I started to see that the perfect happy-go-lucky person that I thought she was, was an idea of my imagination. She was a kind person don’t get me wrong but she was still a person. She confided in me about her struggles with anxiety and the need to be liked. I thought people just liked her and it happened is so naturally. When in reality it was the latter.

Later that year, I sent her a text message. It had been a few months since I saw her last so I decided to send her a message saying that I hope she was doing okay. Nothing. She didn’t say a word to me. I thought that she was busy so I decided not to push it.

I waited until I texted her again but I knew what was going on. I wish I could say I didn’t see the warning sign but I did. She never contacted me at all after that. I was tired of making so much effort after a while and getting nothing, I didn’t want to fight for someone who didn’t want me in their lives.

As frustrated, confused, and heartbroken I was at the beginning — I’m grateful for it now. I needed this. You see my comfort zone is tiny and when I had my friend with me it seemed that we validated each other's need for being in our tiny comfort zones. I didn’t feel that I had to grow because I had someone with me who felt the same.

She was my sense of security and I wasn’t motivated to grow with her. She’s taught me a lot and wherever she is I wish her well but I’ve learned that the only person’s happiness that I’m responsible for is my own.

I will always keep this friendship near to my heart but most importantly I will carry the lessons that came from it.

Check out an empowering read from Leonora Watkins