Water is for Nourishment, Not Playing

No, I’m most definitely not a water baby!

Despite growing up near the southern coast of New Zealand, the sea terrifies me. I much prefer a lake or a swimming pool. Even then, I need to be hot and bothered to put more than my big toe in.

Why the fear? What does water do to me?

Oceans, seas and beach stories

Oreti Beach, a short drive from my hometown, was notoriously frigid, even on a hot summer's day. The waves were pretty fierce too; they pounded into the shoreline and pummelled everything in their way.

I remember enjoying outings to the beach but hated sand getting into every nook and cranny. I also invariably ended up with a mouthful of salt water if I did go for a dip.

What did me in was standing on a dead fish. Ew! I freaked out and was promptly out of the water, never to go back.

A trip to Cuba in 2014 almost changed my tune. The beach at the Royal Hicacos, Varadero, was massive — my girlfriend and I felt like we were the only ones there!

The sand was soft, the breeze — and water — so warm. The waves gently rolled in and the ocean was clear. I could see what was floating about and underfoot; I was a very happy girl! I’d go back there in a heartbeat.

In 2015, my boys and I took a cruise from New York to the Bahamas and back. It was a full two days at sea on either side of the Bahamas but I figured the idea was to enjoy the cruising, not so much the destination. Despite having a fear of the open sea — it's deep, dark and subject to the elements; yes, I’ve read too many tales — taking a cruise was all the rage and it sounded like a lot of fun.

I had warned my kids I didn’t want to hear one moan or complaint as I spent a ton of money on the trip.

Guess who moaned the most? Moi!

I loathed it! Too many people in a confined space as far as I was concerned. The one time we tendered off to Great Stirrup Cay, it was mayhem. So many people jammed onto boats and then crammed onto the small beach. Yuck! Not my idea of fun.

En plus, what happens if the shit does hit the fan? Not a good idea to watch horror stories on the subject, but these vessels are not infallible and the elements are fickle. Sigh, my uber cautious personality is showing; my ingrained fear of water rearing its head.

For the record, my boys had a blast and I did meet some interesting folk; a cop from Manhattan, a correctional officer from England and a London Black Cab driver. I however will never cruise with Norwegian again. I had prepaid gratuities but was still expected to tip on board. I complained and asked for reimbursement on the ship but they told me I had to do it once home. Of course, I then got the royal run around…

The Lake Effect

I’ve already written a bit about my childhood days at Lake Wanaka. It truly is a remarkable place and my kids better take 1/2 of me there when I snuff it!

I prefer a lake because there are no waves or sand. Even better if you can see the lake bed — I’m not fond of murky waters, literally and figuratively.

Bremner Bay — our hang-out place as a kid on Lake Wanaka — was lovely, but it had one major problem; pug holes. To get to waist-deep water, you had to wade out a considerable distance, and en route, your foot would sink into one of these cavernous holes. No word of a lie, you could sink to your knee in this gooey muck. It was rather frightening and not at all pleasant.

To navigate this issue, I would take a lilo — and inflatable ‘bed’ — to the Bay. We’d carry them on our heads for the 5-minute trudge from the ‘crib’ to the Bay. Problem solved!

Here in Canada, my friend has a cottage on Lake Massawippi in the Eastern Townships. It’s a gorgeous spot, but her lake is a tad scary. It’s full of weeds that tangle in your legs as you wade out to deeper waters to swim. Ick! I prefer to plant my arse on the shallow shore and avoid those creepy, gnarly things, thanks.

To this day, I’d rather swim in a lake than in the sea or ocean, but my ultimate preference is a pool.

Pools are Cool

Apart from chlorinated water, a swimming pool overrules both the sea and a lake. Maybe it stems from my fond memories of frolicking in a paddling pool as a kid?

I’m not fond of public pools having been spoiled with our own when my kids were young. It wasn’t on my bucket list when purchasing our home but was it ever a blessing. I spent the whole summer chaperoning the kids while reading, sunbathing, gardening and sometimes swimming.

I prefer the controlled water environment; a pool is clear, the depths are marked and there are no fish, sharks or goobie things to creep me out.

There’s something to be said about lounging poolside at a Caribbean resort and having your drinks served or swimming up to the bar. That’s my idea of bliss!

Now you may protest, questioning the pee and chemical factor; I hear you! I’m just saying if I was given a choice, I’d choose a pool to lounge in over oceans, seas and lakes.

Perhaps it’s because I’m not a strong swimmer? I can swim, but in a pool, there are also no currents to think about. There’s always an escape route close by — and no irritating grainy bits to irritate bodily crevices.

In my books, water is for drinking; whether nourishing plants or our own bodies or simply a means to cool off. I’ve no desire to frolic in liquid— jumping waves, riding rapids or swimming with the dolphins, fish, and sharks — and I prefer to fly than sail or cruise. Although flying can also be scary…

Call me a wimp or whatever descriptive comes your way, it’s me!

A shoutout to the Globetrotters team for another great monthly prompt that got the mind churning and the fingers tapping. 🖤