Letters From Parents

I Wrote This To My Son — Crazy Leads to Success. Am I Wrong?

He’s 11.

Dear Eli,

How are you, big guy? You’re headed home in a few days and the pictures are amazing. Everyone looks like they’re having so much fun. It’s a beautiful thing.

Are you having a great time, especially with all your school friends? I remember you saying how camp is like a nightly sleepover with your best buds. That’s gotta be as awesome as it sounds.

Things around here are okay. I miss you. Your sis was away camping with Vivien’s family for a few nights last week so Mom and I have had, and will continue to have, what we’re calling “Summer of Mom and Dad”. We’re eating out, watching movies, sleeping late, while spending your inheritance. We’re using your Nintendo Switch to play Mario Tennis tonight just because we can (Not really. Actually, not yet, 😀)

And that’s not all. The other night we filled the trampoline with soap bubbles and beer and jumped around.

And, to top it all off, we took all of your stuff — furniture, books, Lego sets, everything — out of your room and created a storage room for cans and bottles of coke. Your room is totally full. Not one square inch has been spared. Wall to wall, floor to ceiling, all you see is Coca-Cola. You can’t walk in. We had to change your door so it swings open into the hallway, not your room.

And when I want a coke, just open the door and grab one. It’s all right there. You can’t walk in. Your room is now nothing but a holding cell for brown carbonated beverage surrounded by an army of white swishes. No worries, it’ll all be gone by the time you come home. And yes, I will enjoy it.

I’m being silly of course.

But seriously, it’s quiet which is one of the ways we know summer 2021 is different. You’re not here doing your Star Warsian sounds — deet-deet-dup-dup-deetle-deetdeet thing.

Zoey isn’t here screaming “Uuuuuuggggggaaaaaahhhh”! (Well, she is for now) But when both of you are gone, life is kind of new — a new normal, I suppose. 🥲

I cleaned out the garage. If you recall, the thing was stuffed with everything from water guns, basketballs, bikes, mowers, a crap load of automotive and lawn liquids, and dead leaves from 2019.

And God knows what lurks within the dark corners of that place. So I ventured in wearing my bike helmet and Zoey’s hockey pads while carrying a broomstick and a shovel. You never know. Alexa may have inadvertently downloaded herself into the snow blower to swivel and blast anything that moves. Beware of the flying chipmunk.

Besides that, your bathroom sink is all messed up. The water stopper doesn’t close. When you push down on the little pole in the back of the faucet, the pop up thingy doesn’t pop up so water won’t fill the sink.

Of the many household fixes I’ve had to deal with, that one is a beast. I’ll always remember going to Home Depot and asking one of the helpers, “Hey, what do I do when a faucet stopper no longer stops water from filling the sink?”

He gave me this whole kit filled with posts, chains, and screws, to which I said, “Is this hard to install?” (I’m not handy).

He said, “No, not at all. It’ll take you ten minutes, tops.”

Yeah, ten minutes. Please. It took two days. The fix wasn’t perfect. This explains why I have to fix it again. It’s time for my annual souped up stress test so this is perfect.

One day you’ll see. Houses are great to have, but, like people, it’ll drive you up a wall (which you’ll need to paint). That said, a home’s benefits far outweigh the costs. Plus, we make such wonderful memories in this house and we love the memories we create with you and Zoey (and Sadona) regardless of where we are.

And if we don’t take care of the house, and each other, we cannot make and preserve those memories. Like water in a broken sink, it’ll all go “down the drain”.

You know, I’ll tell you, and I’m speculating here, so forgive me if I’m wrong, but for the purposes of this letter and giving me something to write about, just go with it.

I think, again, I think, you’re guessing what’s “out there”? What is the world capable of? How good or bad can the world be? Is it really like a Wonka factory where everything is candy and life is sweet? Or is there a Fast & Furious world where everyone is a badass with badass cars with dangerous plots that are seemingly predictable? Is there any semblance of Star Wars, Pennywise, or Marvel characters that can shudder or save the world?

Maybe you’re asking what the world is capable of? How good or bad can things get? What am I capable of? Good question. What are you capable of?

This may seem whacked and outlandish, but all of those answers are out there in some way, shape, or form waiting for you whether you experience them or not. I’ll tell you there are places in the world you want to experience for yourself, as there are places in the world you definitely don’t.

There are things you want to experience over and over again and you don’t even need to go far. They may even appear unappealing because it’s not until you experience them that you’re grateful that you did.

Some things you won’t touch with a ten foot pole. Skydiving is like that at least for me. You’ll never get me up in a plane doing that. You, on the other hand, may say screw it, I’m jumpin’.

Some things you experience you may initially hate because it’s so easy to react to our initial feelings even though it takes time before you can enjoy them. When you’re of age, you’ll find beer is like that.

The same can be said for exercise. The first sweat sucks. Actually, the first two months of sweat sucks, but then, it grows into an amazing part of your life. If you don’t focus on how it feels, and just focus doing it, whatever it is, and you see results and learn you can’t live without it. In fact, the way you know that is by not working out one day. It doesn’t take long before you feel like crap so you say I need to move around, shoot hoops, get a run in, whatever it is.

I’m saying all of this because, while you and Zoe are away, mom and I saw a movie about how families deal with their problems. It was an eye opener. And, as I’m sure you’re figuring out, people are, hmmm, how do I put this. . . let me think for a moment. . . .hmmm, people are, I guess I’d say, friggin’ nuts.

And it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It depends upon the level of nuttiness. Yes, some people are dangerous nuts, but some are fun nuts, some are serious nuts, some are funny nuts, some are lazy nuts, some are dramatic nuts, there’s all kinds. Nuts is a human condition.

My point in all of this is what our family has, and you’ll see this one day, is a semblance of civility in our own nuttiness. We have family meetings to allow each of us to say what we want to say even though our words may be crazy. Mind you, not every meeting is perfect, but like exercise, we have them because if we didn’t, life around the house wouldn’t feel the same.

Nevertheless, a little crazy is good for the soul. It’s what’ll make you laugh at those serious moments when you’re freaking out about whatever it is you’re confronting. One day you’ll look back at a time you took a chance and it didn’t work out well, just like we’ll appreciate the ones that did. Like the time you snuck candy and put the wrapper in the floor vent.

First, that was scary. We don’t want to fry because whatever cool air came through the ducts was being choked off by Kit Kat wrappers. God knows what would’ve happened if you kept that up. All I ask is we don’t bring down the family home over a sugar craving. It’s no fun living in a CRV because, when you’re invited to go over to a friend’s house, you don’t want your family to come with you.

But, like I say, being a little crazy is what makes us human. It’s what lets us take a risk. It’s what drives us to think about what’s possible and go for it. I hope you can be a little crazy at camp and go for whatever it is you want. That’s not crazy. Not crazy at all.

As you can see, you are clearly loved and missed (like crazy). Can’t wait to see you.

XO

Love,

Dad

P.S. I finished the Simpsons. Yeah, I did it. I, I, I did it. Yeah, I did it, Yeah, yeah, I did it.

P.S.S. No, I did not finish the Simpsons. Don’t sweat it.

P.S.S. Seriously, I’m not kidding. I did not finish the Simpsons. In fact, I’m only writing this line because I know you’d say, “No, seriously Dad, did you?”

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