Vanished Lover: Return To Me

Should I let him back into my life?

I hadn’t logged into Gleeden for months. I was getting ready to write the Gleeden article when someone I hadn’t spoken with since late September popped up on my Visitors tab.

Mr.Franks was checking out my profile.

Fuck. It’s him. The one who left our chat without saying goodbye. The one that I felt such a strong connection with and he disappeared. Why is he back? Doesn’t he know it’s the same person? I ignored his profile and went on putting together my article.

Over the next few days, as I was making screenshots, I saw he was still there at the top of my Visitor log. I was determined not to say hi.

Nope, he ditched me.

Then a little red dot appeared in my inbox. Opening it, I see it’s from him.

Mr.Franks: hi. nice to meet you. looking at your profile, we have a lot in common. can we chat?

I closed it immediately and walked away. Doesn’t he know it’s me? The same lady he swore he needed a few months ago? The one he called beautiful. Curiosity got the better of me.

Me: Hi. It’s me Clara. We spoke before.

MrF: hi Clara. yes i know. i was hoping to see you here again. how are you?

We exchanged a few pleasantries when I had to know.

Me: so why are you reaching out? you disappeared off the planet back in September.

He explained why he suddenly left. Covid affects everyone, and he had an immediate family member that passed away. It tore him up. He wasn’t in any shape to talk with someone. He also had a wife that was very insecure in their relationship, checking up on his activities. So he had to drop everything to make sure that she didn’t find out what he was doing.

I felt sorry for his loss. No one wants to lose a loved one. Especially when it’s so hard to travel with the restrictions and lockdowns.

For his spouse, I understand that too. You can’t start cheating if the person you’re with, tracks your every movement. You’d never be able to do it. It takes time and deliberate actions to get yourself in the position to be able to slip away. Working from home makes that hard.

Still, even with understanding all that, I was really hurt when he left. I was so green and new with cheating then, I thought it was something I did. That it must have been me. That I was too much for him.

Me: I’m not sure I want to chat with you. That really hurt me. We had a fantastic connection and you dropped off the earth.

Mr.F: I know I hurt you. I’m sorry. I can’t say how sorry I am. I understand if you don’t want to chat again. I wasn’t ready then. I’m ready now.

Uncertain, I wasn’t sure if I should talk with him. I gave him honesty.

Me: I moved on. I started meeting with men. I had sex with a few of them. I am not sure if I want to start something up with you again.

Mr.F: I understand. no expectations. I just wanted to talk again. We had a great connection.

I agree. We did have something. It was why it hurt when he disappeared.

Mr.F: so it sounds like u know more about what you want. Did you decide if you wanted to become a dominatrix or try any new kinks?

Me: Ahh no. And don’t ask me that shit. I haven’t decided if I’m going to chat with you yet.

But I did. We talked about what we wanted in life, our hopes, accepting that we were now cheaters, and what we needed.

Mr.F: Need to feel desired. looking for excitement again. A reason to get up in the morning.

Me: I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want someone to desire me and hold me and make me feel.

Mr.F: no expectations but i want to give you everything you need.

Who can say no to that? So I didn’t. I kept talking with him.

We’re still talking now. Trying to figure out where to go. How to navigate our lives and see each other. Many other things to make it work for us.

I’ll keep you posted.

See how I first met Mr. Franks and how I got on this road.