Valentine’s Day at Work: 12 Tips to Avoid Bad Romance or Worse (Part 2)

Love Contracts, online harassment, teen workers, worrisome workplaces and office dating for dummies…

Happy St. Valetine’s Day to all. If you’re working today — whether remotely or in a traditional office setting — remember that getting caught in a bad romance can have a cascade of negative consequences.

• Thus, I offer you the following 12 tips on Valentine’s Day — of all days — as someone who’s worked side by side with dozens of senior government employment lawyers, trainers, investigators and HR experts on myriad legal policy and litigation over many years:

TIP #1 — Keep top of mind that a workplace romance gone bad can put you and your employer at heightened investigative, legal and contractual risks for any misconduct, whether real or perceived.

Love Contracts❤️

Even if you’re not looking for love at work, there’s no telling when a mutual attraction might spark office dating, a serious relationship or even a fruitless fling.

This is due to the frenetic pace and intensity of work, buttressed by close travel and other contact for long durations. This risk appears more prevalent in some workplaces and industries than others (see below).

That’s why C-Suites and general counsels have been increasingly shielding companies against legal liability through so-called Love Contracts.

Perhaps you’ve already signed a “Consensual Romance in the Workplace Agreement” either voluntarily or without even knowing it.

Some employers might embed the fine print of these love contracts within the broader employment contract they expect you to sign upon being hired. These love contracts (or high-risk employer insurance policies) can be similar to language regarding mandatory arbitration to resolve internal workplace disputes.

Tip #2 — Make sure to closely read any employment contracts or handbooks between the lines, whether you have to sign on the dotted line or not.

Don’t let yourself be surreptitiously subjected to waiving your statutory employment rights.

This can land you in a red-hot legal mess on an unfair playing field, as your company will have the upper hand.

Online Sex Harassment

TIP #3 — Also, consider the legal ramifications of online sexual harassment and gender discrimination in today’s ubiquitous mobile, digital and virtual Information Age.

Remember that a sexually hostile work environment can occur via emails, texts, video conferencing, social media, etc. Although this reminder applies to employees of every generation, Gens Z and Alpha should be particularly sensitive to these issues because they are especially vulnerable (see below).

TIP #4 — Don’t ever use company equipment for unlawful or nefarious purposes, like sexual harassment, crude or graphic jokes and related sex-based innuendo. The more egregious the act, the worse trouble you may find yourself in.

When Valentine’s Day falls on a workday, your personal conduct may have unforeseen consequences not only for yourself but also the immediate office environment and company culture.

Office Dating for Dummies

While the following may sound like office dating info for dummies, please keep in mind that history and employment caselaw prove that some professionals can exert unwanted sexual pressure on disinterested parties in a variety of ways, both lawful and unlawful — even if harassers later claim they were unaware of the prohibited behavior.

Moreover, even if a sex-related action is not illegal, per se, it can still violate company policy and have bad results for your job.

Tip #5 — While close working relationships may unexpectedly lead to love, it’s always best to tread lightly, exercise caution and common sense.

You’ve likely heard that sexual harassment is not always about sex. Rather, sexual harassment can arise from a power play when a manager, supervisor, or other management authority tries to exert control over a subordinate.

Some Gen Xers, like me, may remember the 1994 Hollywood blockbuster film, “Disclosure”. The movie follows the story of a female boss (played by Demi Moore) who sexually harasses a married male subordinate (played by Michael Douglas) and then tries to turn the table on him.

The result is an untenable work situation and protracted litigation. You can check out the movie trailer for “Disclosure” on YouTube.

Gens Z and Alpha

As mentioned above, workplace romance can be dicey for a new generation of young people who are vulnerable members of the workforce.

This means that teens and 20-somethings can be more easily targeted by bad actors at work for sexual harassment, exploitation or worse.

This pertains to older members of Generation Alpha (children born between 2010 and 2025, approximately) who may soon work part-time or take summer jobs during their mid-to-late teenage years.

Vulnerable workers may also include younger members of Gen Z (the demographic born between 1997 and 2010, approximately) many of whom are entering their first full-time jobs after college or otherwise.

These new generations represent a very vulnerable group of workers because they are not always aware of their employment rights, legal protections and professional codes of conduct — this makes them ripe for exploitation.

Young people might assume that sexual harassment is part of the work culture because they don’t know otherwise and don’t want to make waves.

Younger workers might be fearful of speaking out due to victimization, retaliation, or embarrassment. No one wants to risk derision by co-workers or adverse employment action by supervisors for complaining.

Tip #6 — Be a good employer and provide training on these issues to younger workers. Managers can further reiterate the training points at team meetings, etc.

Recall that teens and 20-somethings in the workplace have legal rights, and companies likewise have legal responsibilities. That’s why I was proud to help launch the “Youth@Work” national initiative (see below) when I worked as a lead media spokesman for the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).

While sexual harassment of teens and 20-somethings can occur within any industry, some professions are more prone to trouble than others.

Worrisome Workplaces

Industries with worrisome workplaces can include restaurants, hospitality and entertainment, among others.

This bad behavior usually comes into the public eye when litigation is filed against companies for unlawful employment actions or policies affecting younger workers.

Low-wage employees and undocumented workers also face greater risk of being targeted for sexual harassment and exploitation.

Some jobs may inadvertently promote an informal atmosphere where horseplay morphs into a fraternity-like environment in close contact jobs. This could have illegal outcomes for employers, based on the specific situation.

Tip #7 — Parents and others should remember that older malicious managers can prey on and exploit high-school or college-aged workers on their first jobs. Tell young people to remain vigilant in the workplace and be aware of their employment and legal rights.

For example, some older workers may naively consider patting, touching or rubbing up against a young co-worker as innocuous behavior. Yet the young worker on the receiving end could (and should) take offense at such egregious behavior.

Tip # 8 — That’s why new worker training, zero tolerance and sensitivity policies for all companies — especially worrisome workplaces — are always the best option regarding employer legal liability.

It’s nearly impossible for companies to police everyone in their workforce at all times. However, new and evolving AI high-tech surveillance tools might change that soon for some industries (look at Amazon warehouses— or “Fulfillment Centers” — for example).

TIP #9— Managers of all ages must remember that some employees don’t want to be touched by anyone at work at any time, regardless of gender preference and sexual orientation — perhaps with the exception of a professional handshake.

As noted, zero tolerance policies and sensitivity training can be effective measures to prevent sexual harassment if correctly implemented. Potential victims should be encouraged to stand up, speak out and assert their statutory rights, rather than being silenced due to fear of retaliation.

Tip #10 — Companies should communicate office romance policies from the top-down, starting with the CEO, to make sure the message is taken seriously by everyone.

The Takeaway

When it comes to Valentine’s Day or any business day, it’s best to keep romance outside the office. This is a common sense and practical approach regardless of one’s status within the organization.

Also, recall there are bad actors lurking within the workforce at large who may target young vulnerable workers for sexual harassment and exploitation — maybe even sex assault.

Still, despite the potential pitfalls, if you choose to pursue an office romance then at least be certain it’s consensual and not a one-way street. It’s true that some marriages result from meeting at work.

TIP #11 — While there will always be pros and cons to work romance and office dating, you should be mindful that the risks generally outweigh the rewards, at least according to employment and legal experts or advocates.

Nevertheless, workplace romance can appear unavoidable when Cupid’s Arrow strikes and sticks. This is particularly true on and around Valentine’s Day — in addition to holiday parties, company travel, office retreats and other occasions where managers and employees may let down their guards.

TIP #12 — Whether you are struck by Cupid’s Arrow or shooting the arrow, always think twice before taking any questionable actions — and always proceed with caution.

Remember that many jobs are temporary in today’s fluid gig economy, while many romances are tenuous.

That’s why when it comes to work romance, it simply makes good sense to be vigilant on Valentine’s Day and every other workday.

Disclaimer: The information in this article is not legal advice and should not be construed as such. Always check with a qualified attorney regarding any questions about workplace dating before an office romance might turn bad.

____________

ABOUT ME: I’m a former national spokesman and senior advisor for strategic communications at the U.S. EEOC, the government agency which enforces federal laws prohibiting employment discrimination. Before that, I worked in the White House Office of Presidential Personnel and the Presidential Transition Office. You can learn more about me here.