Vaginas Are Not That Complicated, You’re Just That Lazy
It’s easier than you think!
All this talk about how women are difficult to satisfy in bed gives me the creeps.
Especially since I know for a fact that women can easily satisfy themselves and I also know plenty of sex toys that can get them there with a well-targeted vibration.
See where I’m going with this? If the hand, the pillow, the edge of the table, or the toy can give a woman an orgasm, who exactly can’t satisfy her?
That’s right — men.
And it’s not that they can’t. They just don’t know how to or they don’t care enough to do it.
My friend Angie used to have a sex problem. That soon turned into a relationship problem.
She just didn’t enjoy sex. She could never orgasm and all the commotion to get there seemed like an ordeal much more than a pleasure.
Needless to say, her boyfriend at the time didn’t like the situation one little bit. He loved her, but he also loved sex. And he wanted to have it as much as possible.
Angie decided to see a doctor. This happened a long time ago and I don’t remember what kind of doctor he was. Might have been a gynecologist, because her initial thought was that there must be something wrong with her down there.
The doctor laughed in her face.
‘My dear girl,’ he said, ‘there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not frigid. You’re just a woman and women just don’t enjoy sex as much as men do. Just have some red wine and close your eyes. You wouldn’t want to lose your relationship over this, would you?’ He prescribed some lube and let her go, assuring her that there was nothing wrong with her lady parts. The solution he offered? Alcohol and denial.
Almost 2 decades later, as I was hanging out with a group of girlfriends, one of them confessed that she never goes on a date without this new toy she discovered.
She had it in her purse. It was a vibrating little thing for the clitoris that you can use with or without a partner.
‘It has a very powerful engine,’ she winked. ‘It gets me done in 5 minutes max.’
‘Is this something that your hand can’t do?’ we asked.
‘It can be done by hand, but this is faster and a bit different, more intense.’
‘So you take it on dates? What do the men have to say about it?’ ‘If they object to me having an orgasm I don’t care what they have to say.’
She had a point.
The rest of us looked at each other. The very same night most of us ordered the little toys designed to make us scream. They were small, sturdy, and colorful.
They weren’t big, long, or hard. But they got the job done. In minutes.
We were in shock at the efficacy. That little toy destroyed in 5 minutes what centuries of misconceptions told women: that their body was faulty when it came to pleasure.
Women could have orgasms. They could have fast orgasms. They didn’t need big things to have them. They only needed targeted pressure.
All they needed was for someone to understand how their bodies function and use them according to design.
I wonder, if all these centuries ago society decided that the best way to give a man an orgasm was to slap his penis around some, would men also be deemed non-orgasmic and frigid? My bet is — yes, they would.
If you don’t use the tool right, how can you expect it to work?
Far be it from me to say that it’s only men’s fault that women aren’t satisfied.
Women don’t know their own bodies either. And because of centuries of guilt and shame, a lot of them didn’t dare explore it.
And if they did, they gave themselves pleasure hidden in the intimacy of their own bathrooms and never told their husbands what they actually liked in bed.
They made a point out of being meek, shy and never asking for anything for themselves lest they should offend his ego. And they got what they asked for: nothing.
However, there are men who deliver even when not prompted and those men are godsent.
Enter Russel.
My friend Russel is crazy about women. He loves giving them pleasure in any way that he can.
We’ve known each other for years and can talk about absolutely anything. So he asked me to help him pick some sex toys that I know women really like.
We went to a sex shop together and as we were looking at the various items, I saw him going for the biggest fattest most monstrous dildoes on the shelf.
The kind that belong in the circus rather than real life. Which was an odd choice, since he is also well-endowed.
‘Why would you want something that ginormous?’ I asked. ‘Are you trying to split her in half? I don’t want to help with that.’
‘No, but I want to make sure that she’s satisfied.’
He naturally assumed bigger is better. And I’m saying naturally not because it’s true, but because somebody fooled men into believing that they need to be hung like horses to give women pleasure.
And I’m sure it wasn’t women who did that.
On the contrary. When the stigma about women buying sex toys began to subside, women started buying medium-sized models. As opposed to men who were always buying dildoes the size of a body anomaly to use with their wives and girlfriends.
‘She’ll be satisfied if you get her something that works on her body rather than something that ruins her body,’ I said.
‘What is that?’
‘You can’t go wrong with the magic wand or any other toy that is targeted for the clitoris and has powerful vibrations.’
‘But that doesn’t even go inside!’ he objected.
‘Are you trying to give her orgasms or sex toy babies? It doesn’t need to go inside.’
He looked puzzled.
‘Look, no 2 bodies are the same, but you can’t go wrong with the clitoris.’
‘Are you sure?’ he asked in disbelief.
‘100%.’
He decided to give it a try and went for 2 toys targeted for outside clitoral stimulation. And the results were incredible.
They worked like magic.
Russel has been having a very rich sex life for about 2 years since he bought the toys. In the meantime, he added more and more to his arsenal and his main focus is to make the woman orgasm. It’s only after that goal has been achieved that he is considering his own pleasure.
Once the word spread that he’s the orgasm provider, women have been seeking him out, especially for that. It’s like he’s some sort of celebrity. Famous for pleasure.
What’s the difference between Russel and other guys? Russel puts in the work. He learned how the woman’s body functions and does what needed to be done to get her there. And after she gets hers, he also gets his.
And they always come back for more.
Russel is smart. Be like Russel.
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