Business

Using Emotional Intelligence to Become a Cool Cat

A business parable with rhinos and snow leopards

One day two young bright-eyed ad execs started out at a big firm in a big city. Both were highly educated and did well in school and internships. Both were incredibly intelligent and seem to have a knack for the advertising business.

They were both incredibly excited to have such a fantastic opportunity. They got to know each other a little bit during the first orientation day. Sebastian the rhinoceros was very outgoing and would grab you around the shoulder and give you a big hug, even if he didn’t know you.

Ted was a snow leopard. He was friendly and a good communicator, both became instant friends and they hoped that they would get to work together or see each other sometimes but weren’t sure because it was such a big firm.

At the end of the orientation day, they got to meet Gordon the orangutan, who as it turns out, was to be the team lead and boss for both of them. What luck! The two new friends were going to have a chance to work together.

The weeks and even months flew by. Both Sebastian and Ted were getting their legs under them business wise and having some success gaining new clients and pitching to existing clients at the firm.

Each of them developed a mantra or catch-phrase of sorts that fit their personality and background. Sebastian’s was that he was a hard-charger and would fight to the end for the client. Meanwhile Ted’s was that he would show you how a leopard could, actually, change their spots (metaphorically, of course).

Sebastian wore his heart on his sleeve. When he was happy or excited, everyone knew because he was outwardly demonstrative. This worked really well with clients. They tended to love his enthusiasm and the way he threw himself into the work. The only problem was, that when Sebastian was angry or frustrated, he would storm around and rage, often destroying furniture and frightening clients.

Ted was more reserved outwardly but was also passionate about his projects. He conveyed that to the client through carefully chosen words and well-orchestrated presentations. Ted didn’t win over many new clients on the first meeting, but over time he would earn their trust and gain their loyalty with his careful approach.

At the end of their first year, both had done well. Sebastian had brought in significantly more new clients. His hard-charging attitude was so evident when he first met clients that they almost always signed on right away. But hadn’t necessarily retained all of them because quite a few were put off by his ranting when things weren’t going great. (And in an ad campaign, there are always times when things don’t go perfectly.)

Meanwhile, Ted’s steady approach meant he won over fewer new clients, but almost always kept them. Surprisingly, in spite of Sebastian’s remarkable ability to win over new clients, he had less on the books than Ted did at the end of the year.

On day Gordon called Ted and Sebastian into his office; he had news. A promotion was opening up in another team in the firm. Gordon wanted to recommend one of his people for the spot and informed Ted and Sebastian that they were the front runners.

Sebastian nearly poked a hole in the ceiling with his horn as he jumped with excitement; Ted’s tail flicked, almost imperceptibly. While Sebastian whooped and hollered, Ted said, “this is really exciting, what a great opportunity!”

Gordon went on to say that the contest would be who could bring in, and keep, the most clients over the next three months would get the promotion.

Sebastian wasn’t dumb, in fact quite the opposite. He knew why he lost clients, so on the way out he asked Ted how he was able to keep his emotions so in check? Sebastian hoped he could learn something so that he wouldn’t lose so many clients.

Ted was more than happy to share. He told Sebastian that it all revolved around the concept of emotional intelligence. He told Sebastian that there are four phases, or steps of emotional intelligence.

The first one, self-awareness, was recognizing that you have emotions and that when you demonstrate them outwardly it has an effect on other people and situations. Sebastian acknowledged that this was exactly why he was talking to Ted; he realized that his emotions were causing problems with clients, “So, what do I do about it?” he asked Ted.

Ted said that the second step was self-modulation, which is controlling your emotions in certain situations when showing your raw feelings might adversely affect the situation. Ted told Sebastian, that whenever he is in a situation with a client or Gordon where it wouldn’t be wise to show all his emotions outwardly, he channels all his feelings into his tail and flicks it back and forth.

Then, Ted said that the other important piece is to use your words to describe your emotions, so that others know what you are thinking and feeling. Part of self-modulation is the ability to describe your emotions without showing them.

Sebastian thought about what Ted said and decided it was good advice. He practiced channeling his feelings into his tail when he was feeling especially upset or even happy. While he knocked over a few lamps, the technique really worked well in regular client meetings so at the end of three months, Sebastian gained several new clients and had hardly lost any at all.

The big day came, and Sebastian and Ted were both excited. They, of course, knew how many new clients each had gotten as it wasn’t a secret. Going into the meeting with Gordon they knew that they were tied in the contest and they wondered who he would promote?

Gordon had them sit down at the small table in his office and shut the door. Gordon then said that, unfortunately, the new promotional position was no longer open as the current holder had decided not to retire after all.

Sebastian’s face went red; his tail frantically swishing underneath his bulk in the chair. Beads of perspiration appeared and turned to wisps of escaping condensation from around his ears.

Ted sat perfectly still, the tip of his tail moving back and forth crisply. Ted then said, “this is really disappointing news and I think we are both very upset. However, these things happen, and we will just keep working hard to win the next promotion when it comes up.”

Sebastian lost it. His chair exploded into the drywall behind him as he stood up, the table nearly flying over as he leapt to his feet. “This is totally unfair, we both worked so hard!” he cried. All attempts to keep his emotions in check failed that day.

After the meeting, Sebastian went to Ted’s cubicle to talk. “I know I am not getting any promotions any time soon because of today. Will you help me learn some more about emotional intelligence?”

Again, Ted was more than happy to help. In fact, even after Ted was promoted to team lead in another department they continued to meet for lunch and talk about ways Sebastian could use to control his emotions. Sebastian studied more about emotional intelligence, learning about phase 3 which is awareness of others’ emotions and phase 4 which is collaboratively influencing the emotions of others.

Meanwhile, Sebastian now never lost clients and was one of the best ad executives in the company. One day Gordon called him into his office and had some interesting news. There was a team lead opening for a brand-new business line that the company had taken over from another floundering firm.

Gordon and Sebastian’s firm had also agreed to take on two of the other company’s promising new ad executives, Aaron and Tony — two hard charging rhinos that were ready to take the ad game by storm.

Gordon had gone directly to the CEO of the company and recommended Sebastian for the role, because no one in the company knew as much about how to tame rampant emotions than Sebastian, and without his mentoring it wasn’t clear whether the two new rhinos would even make it.

So, in the end, not only had Ted’s mantra proven true and he had shown Sebastian how to change and control his spots (emotions), but Sebastian was now a cool cat, instead of that raging rhino.

Moral of the story:

Be a cool cat, not a raging rhino.

Use emotional intelligence to understand your emotions and how they impact your performance. Work on ways to modulate your emotions and tailor them to the situation.

Realize how emotions motivate and drive others, and use that information to create collaborative enterprises, promote innovation and develop synergy.

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Timothy Key spent over 26 years in the fire service as a firefighter/paramedic and various fire chief management roles. He firmly believes that bad managers destroy more than companies, and good managers create a passion that is contagious. Compassion, grace and gratitude drive the world; or at least they should. Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and join the mail list.