Life Advice
Useless Things We Tell Young People
Stop saying these things to children.
As a teenager, I’ve had my fair share of bad advice given to me by adults. Right now I’m applying to colleges, and every single person has a different opinion for where I should apply, what field I should go into, what career I should have, etc. Sure, I understand that they were trying to help, but certain pieces of advice have stuck with me as being particularly unhelpful.
“You can be anything you want when you grow up.”
I know that I heard this one a lot growing up. The issue is that this one is extremely problematic since it’s not only blatantly false, but it also gives children exceedingly high expectations that disappoint them when they inevitably don’t reach them. Many children are at a disadvantage and although it’s possible for them to go into any career they want, it’s not always likely. Telling them that they can sets them up for disappointment as they compare themselves to others who actually achieved their more-reasonable goals. That brings us into the next one…
“You need to study more. Your brother always got straight A’s.”
This statement is flat-out harmful to students’ mental health. It doesn’t have to be their brother, sister, cousin, friend, etc., and comparing them to others makes them feel bad. Not everyone is meant to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer, professor, or any other highly-academic professional. Help them make good decisions, but also let them make their own decisions. Let them fail sometimes. It’s cliché, but failure really is the best way to learn.
“Enjoy being young while you can.”
While obviously children should enjoy being children, this statement insinuates that they’re going to hate being an adult. Why would you try to be successful when you’re young if you’re just going to be miserable anyway when you become an adult? Telling young people this only makes them dread becoming older.
“Do you want to do this? Too bad, you have to anyway.”
I don’t know how many times my dad would ask me “Do you want to go see [name]?” or “Do you want to go do [activity]?” and followed it up with “It doesn’t matter, you’re going to anyway.”
This teaches children that their consent doesn’t matter. I would have rather he told me “You’re going to do this” instead of asking if I wanted to first, and then telling me I had to anyway.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You’ll get it when you’re older.”
This statement is incredibly harmful to children’s creativity and interest in current events. How do you expect the next generation of lawyers, journalists, politicians to arise when you discourage them from learning?
To all of my readers, I apologize for my brief break from Medium! I’m applying to Princeton, and my application is due November 1st. Long story short, all of my time spent writing has been used refining my application essays. I should get more, better quality, content out soon.
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