avatarKen Li

Summary

The article discusses a method for staying committed to personal goals by reflecting on progress from the starting point rather than focusing on the distance from the end goal.

Abstract

The author of the article shares a personal struggle with finishing projects and presents a trick they've learned to maintain motivation towards achieving goals. The key is to reflect on the journey thus far and measure progress against the starting point, which the author refers to as being in "the gain." This approach is contrasted with the common tendency to compare current results with the desired outcome, a mindset known as "the gap," which can lead to feelings of disappointment and failure. By focusing on the gains, individuals can foster a sense of appreciation and pride that propels them forward. The author illustrates this with their own experience in improving sleep habits, emphasizing the importance of setting controllable milestones, learning from the process, and having an accountability partner. The article concludes with an invitation for readers to apply this reflective practice to their own goals and an introduction to the author's work as a life coach.

Opinions

  • The author identifies with individuals who start but often fail to complete projects, likening themselves to an Eagle Scout at starting but a Tenderfoot at finishing.
  • Reflecting on goals is most effective when done by comparing current results with the starting point, which fosters a positive mindset and motivation.
  • Comparing progress against the end goal, or "the gap," can lead to negative emotions and hinder progress.
  • The author has personal experience with the effectiveness of this method, having made significant improvements in sleep quality by setting achievable milestones and

SELF IMPROVEMENT

Use This Trick to Stick to Your Goals

The secret lies in looking back, not ahead

To stay committed to your goals, look back to where you began. In this way, you stay in the “gain” — a positive mindset where you can make all your wIldest dreams come true. Photo by Rainier Ridao on Unsplash

Start something and not finish it?

Like — a lot?

I feel your pain because I’m an Eagle Scout at starting projects and a Tenderfoot at finishing them. To keep the Boy Scout references going, let’s say I’ve earned my merit badge in the Art of Non-Finishing. Except that I wouldn’t have finished this hypothetical merit badge.

However, I’ve recently learned a trick that keeps me motivated to stick with my goals.

If you stay motivated, you won’t quit. And if you don’t quit, reaching your goal is as inevitable as me inserting a simile in this article.

Start by reflecting on your goal

We’re halfway through the year — a terrific time to reflect on the progress of your annual targets.

A little reflection goes a long way.

But it’s how you reflect on your progress that will determine whether you succeed or fail.

What NOT to do: compare your current results against your destination

This is what I’ve typically done when I’ve reflected on my goals. (Or should I say — if I reflected on my goals. Don’t forget step one.)

Take my sleep goal for example.

I’m an insomniac. I sleep late, typically after 11 p.m. I also wake up and stay up in the middle of the night. I think some of these problems stem from the deep dissatisfaction I felt in my career. Or maybe it’s due to the hard pea that sits under my 13th mattress.

To get better sleep, I had set two goals: 1) Sleep every day at 10:30 a.m. and 2) sleep continuously for 7+ hours.

Whenever I reflected on my progress, I focused on my lack of progress. Why wouldn’t I? I hadn’t met my two objectives. Those checkboxes remained unchecked. The race unfinished. The final chapter unwritten. The last potsticker uneaten. (Thanks for indulging me in this silliness.)

I was disappointed, frustrated, and sad as a sad sack🥲.

This is what Benjamin Hardy and Daniel Sullivan call being in “the gap.”

When you’re in the gap, you compare your progress against the finish line or some imagined ideal. This puts you in an emotional hole. And because how you feel influences how you act, it punctures your progress. You may still achieve your goal, but it will be through gritted teeth. Grr 😬.

What to do: Compare your current results against your starting point

By comparing yourself to your beginning, you gain appreciation for all the things you’ve done. This is what Ben and Dan call being in the “gain.”

“Compare against zero, you’ll be a hero.” -Ken Li, master of pithy quotes

Or as BeDan say more simply: “always measure backward.”

This appreciation will fill you with pride. Pride will propel you towards your goal. It’s like turning on the afterburners in your personal jet. Or dumping sandbags from your hot air balloon. Whichever mode of transportation floats your boat.

What’s the best way to experience all this goodness? For me, it’s writing down all the lessons I’ve learned.

I’ve learned so much since beginning of my sleep journey. I’ve learned to set milestones goals that are completely under my control — unlike the original goal I set (e.g. 7 hours of continuous sleep). For example, do I get my morning sunlight? Do I stop drinking water two hours before bedtime? I set these criteria because they increase my chances for better sleep.

I learned that as an Obliger it helps to have an accountability partner. I write to my coach friend every day about how things are going with my sleep habits. She listens and well, coaches me. Thank you Denita. I’ve learned how morning sunlight and exercise can improve my sleep. I’ve learned that melatonin will only provide short-term relief, so I gave it up.

I could go on and on. In fact, I did: see my Google Sheet. I learned over 50 things about sleep and myself. 50+ darn things! Gosh! A fist bump to you, Ken 👊. Maybe a heart and a high five while we’re at it: 🫶🏼🙌.

This investment in reflecting on my gains will pay interest for as long as I live and even after I die — both for me as well as for others who read (voraciously, of course) about my exploits online.

How amazing is that?! Not as amazing as you for finishing this article. You get a merit badge.

Epilogue

In regards to my sleep goals, you’ll be overjoyed to know that I’m no longer going to bed past 11 p.m. I’m also getting six hours of nonstop sleep most nights.

By immersing myself in the gain, I know my goal is as good as done. It’s just a matter of time.

What goal will you choose today to step into the gain?

Need help with your career or life?

I’m a life coach who helps professionals stuck in their careers (& life) find direction and create more purposeful lives that bring them more WHEEEE!

Click on my LinkedIn profile to learn more about my work or let’s chat!

Follow The Orange Journal so you don’t miss a post. Do you love to write about self-improvement and personal development? Learn how to be added as a writer here. 🍊

Self Improvement
Personal Growth
The Orange Journal
Productivity
Goal Setting
Recommended from ReadMedium