Untangle Your Eyebrows from Your Greatest Strength — As its Your Biggest Weakness

How to identify the red lights signs

“You are always so full on Damian!”

My mom had just commented on my way of functioning in the world several years ago.

This wasn’t an uncommon observation.

There is healthy dedication, then there is a forceful, dominating type of obsession toward your pursuits.

When you look to shape the world to your liking through force, your fellow travelers are:

• Anxiety
• Fear
• Isolation

Your greatest strength may be your greatest weakness. But it doesn’t have to be.

How it manifests

When I was living in and out of Indian ashrams for 20 years, the theme was:

“Damian, you are always so disciplined,” was the common theme.

People showed a mixture of inspiration and fear concerning my minute-like form of discipline. From 4.30 am until 9 pm, for 3 years we followed a set schedule. A schedule that accounted for every minute of the day.

When you think of going on a retreat, most Westerners think of organic meals, a free massage as part of the deal, and a yoga class.

Not when you are living at ashrams for long-term courses in India. I have done two long stints in ashrams. Due to my obsessive hardcore approach, they were more like prison sentences.

Not only did I push myself to extremes in my spiritual pursuits, but I also did it with sports as well.

Like a big cat chasing a small animal. I would chase something down until I mastered it.

What I didn’t see was my discipline having harmful effects.

This happens to professionals as well

Results, unfortunately, mask the devastatingly negative effects of obsessive hard work.

The major sport in Australia is Australian rules football. It’s an oval-shaped ball that you need to kick through some posts at either end of the grassed oval field.

In 1999, there was a team, the West Coast Eagles. For several years, they were dominating the competition. They were getting results.

Their captain, Ben Cousins, played by the old adage, play hard on and off the field. He was known as the hardest gut runner in the game.

Whispers started to emerge that all wasn’t well inside their inner sanctum.

Then the shit hit the fan.

The police pulled Ben over while driving late at night. When he pulled his car over, he jumped out and swam across a nearby river, fleeing police.

He was arrested about 7 kms away and found at a traffic intersection, like a drowned rat.

Although they knew whom they were chasing.

When he fled his car, he left his girlfriend in the passenger seat. True story.

Sadly, things unraveled for Ben. Repeated arrests for drug possession. When on a good behavior bond that included regular drug hair testing. The day before his drug test, he shaved his head and had a full body wax.

While he thought he was being clever. All of us felt very sad for him.

He became known as the fallen king of Western Australia.

There will come a time if your work ethic is to an unhealthy extreme, your behavior will become twisted.

Look deeper to find the genuine issue

Successful results cover the actual story of what is taking place in someone’s inner landscape.

I recently received a comment that the solution during my obsessive body-building days would have been to go to the gym only 3–4 times a week. As opposed to 6 times a week, eating 6 meals a day, and consuming kidney-destroying supplements.

On the outside, this may appear to be a healthy solution.

However, that wouldn’t have worked. As I would have just been as obsessive in those 3–4 gym sessions.

The problem was on the inside.

Shiny objects

Successes for me were:

• Winning finals in sports
• A skyrocketing bank balance from multiple career advancements
• Getting validation from sexy women from bodybuilding.

While my discipline was allowing me to stay on the headstand for 8 minutes.

The inner loneliness and being in a relationship with a sexy blonde alcoholic were signs things were not all good.

The sad truth

I have this deep inner sadness that I have tried to avoid by tackling tasks head-on. Set a plan and train hard and, due to the huge amount of effort, I outwork others and excel.

But the sadness persists.

Do the opposite

I have now worked out that my greatest strength is my greatest weakness.

A path of subtraction is the way forward.

Giving up on:

• Obsessiveness
• Hiding from feeling hurt, shame, and anger

See the stop sign

I don’t know if I will ever be free from this unhealthy way of functioning.

But what I have gathered over time are red lights that I know when I see or feel them to find out what is going out.

• Getting angry when someone cuts me off in traffic.
• Going to bed after 9 pm.
• Feeling tired when I wake up.
• Adding an attractive female on Facebook that I don’t know.
• Rushing around to complete tasks.
• Eating more than 2 blocks of vegan chocolate a week.
• Eating more than 2 pizzas a week.

What are your red lights for those “strengths” that are coming from a negative place?

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