Father’s Day: Finding the Strength to Let Go
Its Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday
Today, for obvious reasons, I think alot about my dad. He was the history buff who taught me about Juneteenth and the importance of knowing about our Black heritage.
Congress voted to make Juneteenth a federal holiday last year on my dad’s birthday, June 16, 2022. That was definitely a GOD wink.
I meander down memory lane annually, between dad’s birthday and father’s day. The old pictures shown and memorabilia cause me to vacillate between feeling happy and sad.
One particular yellowed copy of a fax dad sent me 22 years ago, has an especially powerful pull. For the record, our personalities were similar. The inherent problem was that we were too much alike.
Unlike me, he was a control freak, who thought he was always right. We bumped heads constantly on the subject of self-employment. He insisted that he knew everything about business. I insinuated otherwise.
Though he’d blazed a successful business trail, I avoided his advice. Like him, I considered myself a maverick. I desired to carve out my own career, on my terms, in my own way.
He’d had endless opinions about business operation. In retrospect, my refusal to simply listen was just plain dumb. I’d give anything to hear his voice again. However, back in 2001, I wasn’t hearing a word he said.
At that time, I’d just celebrated five years in business. For the record, I was at the top of my game. Dad cautioned me that the tables always turned. Fed up after one particularly traumatic conversation, I abruptly ended it by hanging up the phone.
About a hour later, I heard my fax humming. The flimsy sheet that was noisily printing was sent from Dad. He’d torn a page out of a book that contained a poem written by Nelson Mandela entitled “To Let Go.”
Dad highlighted the words “To let go” and inserted the word “YOU” in capital letters.”
Re-reading them was a gift. I encourage you to google Mandela’s poem and read it in its entirety. Modiba’s words are eloquent. I’ve included two clips from Mandela’s lead in and final thought.
“To let go doesn’t mean I have to stop caring. It means I can’t do it for YOU. To let go is not to cut myself off… It’s the realization that I don’t control YOU.” — Nelson Mandela
The poem concludes with these words…
To let go is not to criticize and regulate YOU. But help YOU become the best YOU can be. To let go is not to regret the past. But to learn from past mistakes and live for the future. To let go is to fear less and love YOU more. — Nelson Mandela
At the end of the fax, dad added in his messy handwriting, “Because I love you, I won’t shut up when I think you’re making bad choices. I do promise to TRY to let go.”
Today, I’m struggling. I miss my dad so much it hurts. I don’t ever want to let go of his memory. Thanks for reading. Just in case you missed it, a week ago, I again wrote about dad.