Unfocused AF?

Don’t slide into that “good night!”

This is Major Tom to Ground Control I’m stepping through the door And I’m floating in a most peculiar way And the stars look very different today For here Am I sitting in a tin can Far above the world Planet Earth is blue And there’s nothing I can do Space Oddity, David Bowie

I’m not sure if it’s the shift to Daylight Saving Time, the near-apocalyptic state of the world, the orange lunatic in the White House who seems to be everywhere, much like a fungus…or what…but something is going on in my head.

Everything, and nothing.

Although I have things that I need to do, projects that I want to either start or finish, like that screenplay I started months ago or the long-anticipated de-cluttering of our home, I’m failing at all of it. My focus has left the room and I’m struggling to regain my grip on my “dream.”

In fact, I’m struggling to remember what my dream is.

I am, indeed, “floating in a most peculiar way.” Or my mind is.

Lately, before I get out of bed in the morning, I let my mind drift in the hope that from all the murky gray matter will emerge my next Great Thought, like a mermaid from the sea. Bright and glistening with promise.

But all I think about is sex. In the morning, anyway. And sometimes in the afternoon and evening.

Could it be that Medium has brought me to my knees? That all the recent weirdness here has knocked the stuffing out of me? I like to think I’m stronger than that but the air is seeping from the balloon.

Do you feel the same way? Are you exhausted from the constant challenge of creating content that people actually want to read?

My latest “bit” is my obsession with mailing lists. Should I create one? How the hell do I do that? (Yes, I’m an idiot.) Do I have the fortitude to write a newsletter and keep up with my Medium stories as well as my personal blog? (Which has pretty much gone to shit.) Will I make money if I go to all the trouble and expense of creating one?

How does Helen Cassidy Page do EVERYTHING?

I know nothing about mailing lists yet I keep thinking about them, which is getting me nowhere fast.

In a sense, it feels like I’m disappearing. I realize how ridiculous that sounds but dammit, I need to get something done.

So many of the writers here amaze me. How do they keep pumping out the content? Is it something they’re drinking? Eating? Smoking? I admire their determination but I, too, am a determined individual. I’m just not sure where that determination should settle. Where I should make the best use of it.

Normally, when I can’t think straight, my go-to solution is exercise. Never one to fully relax, constant movement is more my thing. Sometimes, jumping rope will knock an idea to the front of my cortex and I’ll experience an “aha moment.”

Maybe I’ll try that today. Or not.

What do you do when you can’t focus? Meditate? Listen to music and bust a move? Eat an entire box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese? (The color of that powdered cheese alone can shock you out of your torpor.)

Because I believe in helping my fellow writers, the ones who are on the same shaky ground I’m on, anyway, I did a bit of research and unearthed a few suggestions, or “tips,” if you will, for regaining focus, that I plan to put into play. Hopefully, you’ll find them useful. If so, you can give me a big, old clap!

Make lists. This is as basic as it gets. Often, the simple act of writing down what you’d like to achieve in a day is energizing in and of itself. Forbes suggests that before you start jotting things down, it’s helpful to assess your level of distractions. Do you tend to stop working every time your phone beeps with a new alert from Facebook or LinkedIn? If so, there’s an easy fix: Turn the damned thing off and put it away somewhere.

Surfing the Internet. Amazon Prime. Personal emails. All of these can keep you from your intended tasks. Figure out what distracts you and when. After you’ve sorted this out, making even one change in your behavior will help you feel like you’ve regained control over all the crap that’s hijacking you from achieving your goals.

Take a walk. Literally. Step away from your computer and get your butt outside. Wear headphones and listen to your favorite music or to the little birdies tweeting. Often, simply getting out into the fresh air and sunshine will energize you. I know it does me.

Especially when I’m thinking about sex. (Are you sensing a pattern here?)

Create a digital “junk drawer.” There’s a tool called Evernote that allows you to dump all your ideas, lists, saved articles, great thoughts, and all the other mental clutter that keeps you from focusing on the projects that need doing now. You’ll clear out your head and keep all your “stuff” in one, easy-to-find place.

Take deep breaths. This never helps me, but as breathing seems to be very popular, I thought I’d throw it in the mix. You’ll fill your body with oxygen and increased oxygen levels equal increased energy. Plus, you can breathe anywhere! Although, these days, that could be iffy. (Breathe at home.)

Do something mindless. You might think you’re already doing something mindless, but I’m talking about an actual task that will take you away from that blank screen you’ve been staring at for an hour. Scrub a toilet or clean out a litter box. Your pussy (or pussies) will thank you.

Sip a cup of green tea. You’ll flood your body with antioxidants, which is always a good thing, plus you’ll get a jolt of energy without the blood-sugar-crash and jitters that come with coffee.

Find three tasks that you know you can manage. This is called “taking the easy way out,” at least temporarily. “Three,” because you’ll actually feel like you’ve achieved something. Example: Set aside the opus you’ve been working on forever and pen a short story, or a poem.

Just say “screw it” and sit your ass down in front of the TV. There are times, my friends when you need to throw in the towel, wave the white flag and say, “Put a fork in me. I’m cooked.” At least for a little while. There’s nothing to gain in beating yourself up because you can’t think straight — or think, at all.

And if that doesn’t work, head on over to my friend, Xavier Van Holde’s pub, The Bad Influence, and read the sex stuff.

“Can you hear me Major Tom…?”

Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.

As always, I appreciate your reading. If you have the time, please check out more of my work.