avatarKiKi Walter

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Abstract

Know, OK — I Guess</h2><ol><li>They make good step stools.</li><li>They can armpit-check you without it being obvious.</li><li>They cost less to take to the movies and amusement parks (<i>helllo, child’s ticket?</i>).</li><li>They are better at motorboating. [Author’s tip: DO NOT Google this.]</li><li>You can dress them up as a creepy gnome to scare “them damn kids” off your lawn.</li><li>Next to them, you look like a fucking Goddess.</li><li>They give you and your gal pals endless inside jokes and laughs at their expense.</li><li>There is always someone who will look up to you.</li><li>You always have someone to lean on.</li></ol><p id="1459">9.5 Once you’re sick of them, all you have to do is give them a sock and they’re free.</p><p id="e43d">What do <i>you </i>think, fans and readers? Do you have any other reasons why gnomes and trolls are a tasty snack to keep around?</p><p id="da38">Other notable articles on this topic include:</p><div id="7f5a" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/tall-men-perform-better-from-every-angle-f8496075fff4"> <div> <div>

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 <h2>Tall Men Perform Better From Every Angle</h2>
            <div><h3>And if you debate this, it only proves your gender or height deficit</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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      <a href="https://readmedium.com/tall-man-wanted-for-short-woman-with-housework-allergy-6de798d790a">
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            <h2>Tall Man Wanted For Short Woman With Housework Allergy</h2>
            <div><h3>I have just discovered that there are men who will do it for us — tall men!</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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IN DEFENSE OF GNOMES AND TROLLS

Underneath Every Tall Man Lurks a Bridge Troll

Or, the joys of your own personal Dobby

Photo by MARIOLA GROBELSKA on Unsplash — I’ve named this one “Chris”

Several articles have been floating around the Mediumsphere hailing the wonderment and genetic superiority of tall men over the trolls and gnomes of the world (aka “dudes who are less than 6 feet tall” — ew. Gross.)

But…someone needs to come to these poor defensive weaklings’ defense.

Being a tall broad myself, I figure I can be their personal Wonder Woman and come to their rescue. Therefore, I give you — 9.5 Reasons Small Dudes Are…You Know, OK — I Guess.

9.5 Reasons Small Dudes Are…You Know, OK — I Guess

  1. They make good step stools.
  2. They can armpit-check you without it being obvious.
  3. They cost less to take to the movies and amusement parks (helllo, child’s ticket?).
  4. They are better at motorboating. [Author’s tip: DO NOT Google this.]
  5. You can dress them up as a creepy gnome to scare “them damn kids” off your lawn.
  6. Next to them, you look like a fucking Goddess.
  7. They give you and your gal pals endless inside jokes and laughs at their expense.
  8. There is always someone who will look up to you.
  9. You always have someone to lean on.

9.5 Once you’re sick of them, all you have to do is give them a sock and they’re free.

What do you think, fans and readers? Do you have any other reasons why gnomes and trolls are a tasty snack to keep around?

Other notable articles on this topic include:

Humor
Satire
This Happened To Me
Advice
Inspiration
Recommended from ReadMedium