‘Domingo Tranquillo’, Acapulco, Guerrero, Mexico, Norte America, Planet A
Un Mensaje Privado de Madam Georgia Clay (not my real name) to Ann’s readers, All Ten of Them
december 4, 2022. the countdown begins . . .
It’s been a month since the coronations of Raine Lore of Australia (Queensland, por supuesto) and mi amgia, Ann James of Calzoncillos, eNVy, as queens of the southern and northern hemispheres, respectively. I’ve not yet met the delightful and beautiful Queen Raine, but I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Ann for nearly 20 years.
We have always been close, closer than most sisters. Closer even than her triplet daughters.
Her duties as La Reina del Hemisferio Norte have overwhelmed Ann, while her counterpart is taking it all in stride, a normal progression in her long and lovely life.
I phoned my dear friend, “What can i do to ease your burden?”
“Please, Georgia, tell my followers about the secret documents.”
My heart skipped a beat. “You mean the ‘dust devil’?”
“Yes. Katsuo and I have determined during our master crash class last week, ‘Edumication in Edmonton, Alberta’, that the internet will crash on the Ides of March, 2023. 100 days from now. My readers need to know. I want them to be in a safe place when it happens. Aboard a plane, they may not have the good luck to have Captain ‘we’re-going-to-be-in-the-Hudson’ Sully.”
It’s so much to process. After our phone call, I needed a musical interlude.
Dear Readers,
You must know that Ann wrote “Dust Devil: Tales from the High Desert” during the Trümp Regime when she was on steady diet of coffee, Nutella on toasted sourdough, Seth Meyers, Trevor Noah, and Allan Ishac. That being said, I never took her book seriously. Until I saw this review:
“Wildly entertaining. I had no idea where it would go, like a balloon when you let go of it untied, it zips around uncontrollably, makes funny noises and renders you incapable of looking away.” — Michaël Wertenberg
No, not that one.
“Who the hell knows what kinda crazy crap people will be doing in 2023? It’s 2017 and we have people giving Kim Kardashian’s butt millions of likes. Personally, I’d rather see the internet blown up by a cat than her butt.” — EJ McCay
Not that one either, butt it still makes me laugh.
If you liked Jack Kerouac and William Burroughs this book will bring back memories.Or flashbacks.
March 23, 2018
“Quixotic” is a word combo of Quixote and Exotic.(no it isn’t) And this small tome is both. Entertainingly so. I found a few loose pages in a patch of desert, blowin’ in the wind, along with Dylan’s harmonica and Dylan Thomas’ Do not go Gentle into that Good Night. Ms.James will never do that. But she does often rage against the dying of the light in this delightful collection. All that, and dwarf giraffes. (I received an advance reader copy of this book, and it is worth twice what I paid. Buy a copy, before they run out. Trust me on this.) — Deforest Day, aka, Steve Day, who critiqued her wip and thinks she has never taken a maths class.
It was this one:
“I found this little book at Lake Tahoe. Some one had left it on a park bench by the shore. Intrigued by the title and the cover art, I started reading it. I couldn’t put it down. Seriously, the back cover was sticky with Nutella, and I couldn’t get the mother fuckin book off me hand. It ruined me morning of playing fetch with me dogs, but it also made me one of the few ppl aware of her prophecy. When I joined Medium.coma and saw so many ppl writing about the insane amount of energy needed for Crypto C, the B$airios building and launching their space dildos, space debris, and Chat GPT, I boycotted WallyWorld, Amajohn, the real Elon Muskrat, one of the local feed stores (They’re Trümpers) and gas stations (except Costco). I invested heavily and early in smillewcoins and mini golf courses. Pay attention ppl. I am writing this on May 1, 2024.” — Sheila Ualas
Ann’s prophecy is in chapter four:
Buena suerte. Good luck. Mantente segura. Stay safe.
-Georgia
