Two Tools That Strengthen Your love Relationship

Are we a good match or not ?— Go figure!!!

To make it easier on yourself, finding an ideal partner is as easy as asking the right questions (discernment), defining what will work for you or not (self-worth), and making sure we match the expectation we desire from our partner (accountability).

If you are reading this, and are not sure if you have found the right partner, then it is likely that you haven’t yet, and that’s fine to keep looking for one or wait for life to show you the right one while you are improving your life and yourself. In one of my previous articles, I talk about an effective technique that I and a few friends used to attract ideal candidates.

The Article you are reading now is a follow up from the first one, and it will help you enjoy figuring out who you will be in your relationship as well as discover how your potential new lover will be.

For a relationship to work, both of you have to be willing to want to know more about each other and that needs to be the core of the relationship for the first 6 months at least — Every day, strives to know your partner more and relentlessly. Doing so will push both of you to open up to old wounds if there are some hidden ones, become assertive with each other in regard to telling each other the truth in the most positive ways, and opening both your hearts to accept each other for whom you truly are.

Don’t wait until you sleep in the same bed or start doing business together to discover that they are not a good match.

Avoid the damage control chapter.

In terms of outcomes, there could be two results out of this process of discovering each other — You have the same values, aspiration, and going in the same direction and it works or you are not compatible and it is ok to part away and stay great friends.

Allow me to use my personal experience to introduce the technique I am trying to pass on to you with this article. I had to part ways from multiple relationships to stay good friend even if it had to hurt a little. I had to be able to let go of any relationship if I noticed that I was not a good match for the other person. Usually, it is because my vision and values were not aligned with the other person’s visions or values. On the other hand, I was let go as well because of my sense of freedom that can make the other partner insecure or unappreciated at times.

I believe it is a sign of maturity for a man or woman to leave a relationship if in the long run both of you might not aspire for the same thing or values.

In the end, each relationship made me better and allowed me to understand myself better and my counter part as well. Sometimes, a partner will not understand until later when they realize that they have become a better person as a result of both dating each other— Some gain more self-estimate as a result, others trust in their decision-making abilities, and few realize what kind of relationship are not beneficial to them in the long run.

What I am trying to tell to all of you reading, is that I might have not been a good match for some relationships but I did my best to bring some interesting values into the relationship. Ask yourself this question, did I gave and received any values from my past relationships? At the end of the relationship, do both wins even if it tickles a little-bit on the emotional department (heart).

From a proverb I hear, what does not kill you makes you stronger.

Let review those tools now

Pattern App

1) I used this app called “Pattern” to understand myself better and also learn about the pattern of my partner or friends. Funny right, relying on an external source to create an environment for discovering each other might sound sketchy at first but allow me to explain myself.

You see, the app “pattern” uses many astrological, scientific, and psychological data to understand and show patterns related to your thought, action, and belief that needs to be changed or updated based on your ages and life cycles. When you reach 30 years old, you have to admit that certain behaviors need to be let go, to give room to a more mature version of yourself.

If you don’t know what needs to be released? Let me tell you that this app is great at pointing out areas that need improvement in your life — If you have already done the work, it will feel good to know that you are doing well for yourself. If you are not at your best for your current cycle, then you will have a few ideas where some improvement is required to be in good standing in your life journey in terms of relationships — Love and friendship.

This is how the app looks like and you can check it out here

To make it even more fun, and to show how reliable this app is beneficial at figuring out the dynamic of your relationship, I am creating a one-hour course, that teaches how to use it effectively and to your advantage — You don’t want to misinterpret your data and if you don’t know what to do after I can help with that. Stay in tune and I will let you know when it is ready.

The Skin Deep

2) The second valuable tool I used to find hidden desires, values and believes my partner or friends wishes to have in our future relationship can be found during the time we spend playing this amazing card game called “The Hand” from Skin Deep.

Let me be real with you!! If you are starting or even in the middle of a relationship you need to have this deck sitting in your living room, and every time you have some free time with your partner, play it. This deck of cards can make you understand, laugh, cry, and discern what needs to come to light in your relationship.

It works in the most subtle way you could have imagined. Little by little it will peel off your deepest desire, expose your darkest envies, and heal your hidden wound.

That can only happen if both of you decided from the beginning to commit to being fully open from the heart, willing to improve when something is wrong, and accept each other without judgment even if what the other person has done in the past scares you.

There are 200 cards in this deck and the way I will recommend using it for effective effect is: 1) to shuffle the deck every time you want to use it, 2) take only 5 cards a day, and ask those questions to each other. 3) when you have answered the 5 questions, leave them be somewhere else 4) keep on shuffling the deck every time you want to use it.

If you are into Tarot reading and understand how it works, you will notice that the universe also affect those cards and make you choose the card that is significant for both of you to answer. Mine felt likes I am rolling a die and always getting a double 6 all the time, those questions were always significant to the healing or concern we needed to deal with if we wished to be in harmony with each other and the relationship dynamic.

You can even do it over the phone with your partner if you are not in the same location, and it is a great conversation starter.

If every time you play and learn 5 things from you and your partners, imagine how much you will know about yourself and your partner as time goes?

Another benefit is that it will allow you to have an idea of how the future will look like if you continue in that relationship or not. Like I mentioned above, it is ok to not have the same values and desires, it is even better to know your differences and accept them from the beginning of the relationship because it can be the groundwork for a wonderful relationship.

Self-acceptance of ourselves and others is the beginning of experiencing unconditional love.

If you can do that for one relationship, you will be able to do it for others as well over time. That will lead to creating a more harmonious relationship with the people surrounding you as well.

There are a few cases, where both of you might not be a great match for a relationship but can become great friends. I choose that option on many occasions, If you are not willing to lose, you are not willing to win. I will rather be your friend than be a lover that you dislike because we went for the relationship and later it created some resentment because we both did not know who we are or have different expectation for the future.

I hear that phrase a few times during coaching sessions “I didn’t know he or she was like that from the beginning”. Honestly, we are always a work in progress and growing continuously. I believe no one should be blamed if they didn’t ask the right questions at the beginning, but one fact I am certain of is that “The hand” will ask those questions for you.

I am still using both tools every day and I can tell you, I am still learning a lot about myself and my partner. No one can stop learning about one-self because we are constantly growing unless you are not!!!

Take a look at the pattern app and get yourself one of Skin-deep deck those decks even if you are single or dating, love yourself, people around you, and what surrounds you, and I leave you in the love and light of the infinite creator.

Bonaventure Barry

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