Two-Pack is Back!

Summary

Chuck Roast, a writer and self-proclaimed World's Hottest Dad-Bod, humorously discusses his transition to a healthier lifestyle and the potential loss of his dad-bod status as he regains a two-pack abdominal definition after a heart-related health scare.

Abstract

Chuck Roast, known for his self-appointed title as the World's Hottest Dad-Bod, shares his journey of health transformation after a cardiac procedure. He humorously laments the return of his abdominal muscles, fearing it may strip him of his dad-bod credentials. Since July 10, he has lost nearly 20 pounds due to a diet overhaul that now includes salads, fish, and whole grains, a stark contrast to his previous eating habits. He humorously ponders whether his followers and potential Tinder dates will accept his new physique, as he transitions from having 'moobs/mitties' to pecs. Despite his progress, he admits to occasional dietary lapses, indulging in take-out food due to his recent move and proximity to excellent eateries. Nevertheless, he embraces the change with humor, considering a rebranding of his publication, "Dad-Bods," to reflect his evolving image.

Opinions

Chuck Roast is apprehensive about losing his dad-bod status due to his weight loss and emerging two-pack.
He humorously questions whether his new physique will affect his self-image and appeal to his audience and potential romantic interests.
He acknowledges the necessity of his lifestyle change for health reasons but playfully bemoans the loss of his former body shape.
Despite his progress, he confesses to struggling with maintaining a strict diet, especially given his living situation and proximity to tempting food options.
He is considering renaming his publication to better suit his evolving body type and is seeking feedback from his readers.
Chuck Roast maintains a humorous outlook on his situation, blaming others for his misfortunes and finding amusement in his dietary challenges.

Existential Question: Am I still a Hot Dad-Bod?

I’m probably going to disappoint a lot of women (and maybe some men) worldwide with this revelation, but. . .my six pack is starting to show again. *Gasp*, you say?

Me, too. It actually frightens me because I have enjoyed my status as the self-appointed World’s Hottest Dad-Bod.

Now, I’ll have to kick all those youngsters outta the running for just plain Hottest Man in the World.

You may be wondering what happened? Well, you know, that heart-thingy I’ve been whining about? The doctor forced me to start eating weeds, bait, and bird food. Translation: salads, fish, and whole grains.

I had my procedure on July 10. It is now September 12. . .I have lost almost 20 pounds. Will you still want to cuddle with me on the couch? Will you still want to play with my missing love handles? I no longer have moobs/mitties (man boobs/man titties) for you to massage. Now, I have pecs. Will that satisfy you, my future Tinder dates?

What has my world become? Will I have to change the name of my publication, Dad-Bods? Will I have to inform ALL of my 58 followers of the name change? Will they abandon me for betraying the Dad-Bod ethos? Will people follow me(another hint) if I call it “Older Men With Two-Packs?”

I know, ladies. You want a picture to be able to decide. Well, I am not quite ready for that, but soon. I may have to wait for my four pack to show, first. Which, by the way, if I keep eating like this will be soon. I’ll even wear my Speedo for you. Here’s a reasonable facsimile to what I am starting to look like:

Pretty impressive, eh? If you look closely at the picture above, then close your eyes, you can almost see two of my abs. Well, maybe have a drink or three, but who’s counting?

However, I will admit to “falling off the wagon” a little when it comes to my diet. I don’t have pots and pans, yet. and I just moved in to my new place. And, I live just blocks away from some of the best take-out. Hard to resist after a long day of moving for a little, then napping for a lot, then watching some Netflix. .you see, I can do WHATEVER I WANT NOW!

But, still. . .a two-pack is better than a “no-pack.”

I hope this made you smile a little. Even in my struggles, I try to find a little humor, and always blame others for my misfortunes. I hope you read one my future stories, where I discuss my amazing discovery of how shopping online is as addictive as “porn.” I hereby name it “Shopping Online Porn.” Hmm. . . gonna have to work on that name.

Here’s me: Chuck Roast is a writer, author, word generator, hack, scribbler, literary genius, penman, scribe, litterateur, poet in residence (my house), satirist, and humorist (“humourist” for those of you who like the “incorrect” spelling)for Medium and, once upon a time,a Top Writer in Satire and Humor, current owner/editor/writer of his own Publication, Dad-Bods, which is currently seeking followers and writers.

His only curation, in Poetry, for his poetic story, Remember the Founders and Their Reasons. He has also been twice published on the website, goodmenproject.com.

Here are the links to his accounts, LinkedIn, Twitter. Comments are always appreciated. Thanks for reading. Write On! Write well, write good, and write enough!

Please comment! I’d love to hear from you!