Two Forms Of Happiness

What’s yours?

Happiness is a state in which we feel pleasure or content. It might seem quite simple to understand, but in reality, it’s a topic on which a multi-billion dollar self-help industry is flourishing.

Kahil Gibran, a Lebanese-American writer, and poet, wrote — “Happiness is a myth we seek.” Different people have different beliefs about happiness, and there is no right or wrong. Buddhists believe in equanimity, hedonists believe in pleasure, Stoics believe in negative visualization, and Aristotelians believe in purpose.

After reading and following different philosophers and spiritual leaders for the last couple of years, I see two forms of happiness, i.e., In-sight & Out of sight.

InSight Happiness

A form of happiness that is visible from the outside. It’s an indication of an individual’s worldly well-being.

This form of happiness may be delusional as it’s a result of financial and social success. For example, if someone is married, has kids & living in a paid-off house, it is a happy family from the outside. No one cares if the family spends time together or not. No one knows if the adults are on anti-depressants or not. Are there any issues with Alcoholism, drug overdose, or sexual abuse?

The United Nations publishes an annual World Happiness Report to quantity such happiness. The report ranks countries where people are most happy to live. People from 150 countries answer a survey known as the Cantril Ladder to rate their current lives from 0 to 10.

Governments work hard to improve this form of happiness for their citizens. You can’t blame them; we give in to these temptations. We want high salaries, luxurious cars, big houses. We work our backsides off for people who never had ethics.

Companies whose products harm our bodies sponsor big sporting tournaments. Athletes who compete in these tournaments take life-threatening performance-enhancing drugs. These athletes go after these sponsorship deals as a reward for their sacrifices. Why? Because money determines InSight happiness.

Out of Sight Happiness

Life is a journey. It has its highs and lows. These highs and lows are learnings, but they should not impact your happiness quotient. Happiness comes from actions. What are you doing? Why are you doing? For whom are you doing?

I call this form of happiness ‘Out of Sight” happiness. No one can judge it or quantify it. It depends on the amount of satisfaction you extract from your actions. Do you treat everyone equally? Do you have time for a smile when you see your neighbor? Do you say ‘Good Morning to an unknown person on the road? If the answer to any of these questions is NO, ask yourself WHY?

Out of sight, happiness comes from the inside. It’s a constant source of motivation no government can guarantee. It is not dependent on gender, race, caste, color, or religion. It’s there because we are gifted and love the way life is.

I am in no way asking you to compromise with your situation. If Mahatma Gandhi had compromised, Indians like me wouldn’t write such big words. If leaders like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, Medgar Evers, Thurgood Marshall, and many others black leaders had compromised, America would not have stood against ‘Black Lives Matter the way they did.

Life is a journey where you fold your hands in gratitude for your gifts. At the same time, you work hard to become a better person. Never stop trying. If you want to stop something, stop complaining. Never ask life — Why me? Instead, say — Choose me.

Conclusion

Happiness is not a state; it’s a journey. I got mine from following Stoic Principles and practicing Vipassana. I am not happy all the time. At times, it becomes hard to get out of bed, but I am fortunate to have family members who will stand by me forever. I must give it back by standing up to others instead of running towards In-Sight happiness.

Complaining & self victimizing will only take us as far as a psychiatric clinic. Instead, stand up for yourself. Resist In-Sight happiness. Happiness is not a status symbol. Spending time with family is more important than getting a promotion. Teaching your kid to drive is more important than buying a brand new car.

Before I end this article, I would like to complete Kahil’s lines I started the article with.

“Happiness is a myth we seek, If manifested surely irks; Like river speeding to the plain, On its arrival slows and murks. For man is happy only in His aspiration to the heights; When he attains his goal, he cools And longs for other distant flights.”

Thanks

Tarun

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