TWEET NOTHINGS

Twitter Twitter Tweet Tweet Tweet

The twitterpated Muddy meeting of 10 January 2022

Amy says more than one mother she knows takes showers in the dark to decompress. Susan’s afraid she’d bump into things. Me too. Younger mothers see better.

Paul’s pet peeve

He doesn’t like it when ppl exactly copy his editing suggestions. I do since I try not to let my own voice creep into suggestions. Writers — mudditor suggestions usually aren’t edicts. They’re aimed at making your story more appealing or readable.

Who said

Add funny filters to 101 story? Isn’t that more advanced than 101? If you’d suggested I “learn to be funny” before I submitted my first Muddy piece, I’d’ve been scared off. I still haven’t read Dikkers’ advice but plan to, this year. Susan’s goal of “encouraging writers” is huge. Eeew. The connotations. Ick. Orange.

Susan Says

Do your homework

What do new Outlaw writers need to know? Mudditors are to send Susan one to three suggestions in bullet form. She’s revamping her welcome email.

Tweet nothings into my little ear

Ryan Zaharako, who has nearly 50K Twitter followers, keeps trying to help us. We’re paying attention lest we inadvertently walk off the plank’s window of opportunity mixed metaphor cliché.

• long story short Gary will pick & tweet MuddyUm’s funniest article of the day @UmMuddy as #DailyMuddyFunny
• Ryan will retweet
• new invisible Slack channels appeared to others and I had to jump through virtual hoops to see them because I can’t read Muddy Zoom Chat when ppl are talking. If I do, I can’t hear what ppl are saying
• the position of #twitterfolks Twitter dictator of slackers will rotate, as could Twitter czar and czarina
• don’t be a dictator dick! Am I pedantic? Noooo just perpetually wading thru the weeds. It is what it is and how will I know what it is unless I ask questions? Take the dick out of dictator
• include Twitter handles in stories? Tweets need to include the writer’s Twitter handle/hashtag at bottom of post
• our rules allow picking fellow mudditors’ stories as the #DailyMuddyFunny and encourage picking by not many claps but LOL
• our buddy Smillew Rahcuef is a Twitter force to be reckoned with. Susan’s reaching out; maybe he’ll take pity on us and retweet

People often are eager to help when asked. Let’s ask for help on Twitter to build MuddyUm’s following.

We started without fanfare; nomenclature and policies & procedures may change without warning subject to captainly whims.

OK no, here’s the fanfare🎺 The MuddyUm Twitter Campaign! Just Another of the Many Great Services From Your Mudditors

Kicking off with capital letters

We don’t require all-caps for kickers, per the Cap’n! Lookin’ at you, Carol. One of these days I’ll jump on the peevish pet paddywagon.

⚔️ Andrew’s Agenda ⚔️

Umm. I’m outa here if our Zooms turn into work.

Who gets a ‘free pass’?

We made a list, we’re checking it twice, but you’re not gonna find out who’s naughty or nice. Sorry.

A few Outlaws don’t need in-depth editing, and now we mudditors are on the same page. The editor fairy is Equal Opportunity and swoops around. No story is safe, published or not. Feel free to request a swoop.

Did you know editors can’t see your name while they’re editing your submission? Unless you left a private note or included it in your story, I see your name only in MuddyUm’s queue and the email announcement of your story's submission.

Twitter instruction

• Twitter can be set to anyone can follow you or wait until you accept a follow request. Amy lost her Twitter cherry recently
• What’s your handle? Why no picture?

Our MWC is languishing

What about December’s contest? What about December’s contest? Oh. It’s January. Susan responded quickly:

• The MWC December Entries
• December MWC Contest Winners

Gimme three steps

Meanwhile, back at the meeting, Andrew wasn’t volunteering. Susan listed “the three steps,” which I failed to note. Anyone? What’re the three steps?

• BOF: “MWC is so last year”
• me: “let’s either make our MWC an eternal prompt or end it”
• Andrew: “our MWC should either persist or fail fast”¹

Apparently, it’s going to persist. Yes Ma’am, Cap’n Susan.

🕊️ Delegate! delegate!🕊️²

“Susan, CEOs like you need to delegate,” Andrew continues.

• “two in the box” — Amy & Gary — to deal with Twitter?
• Susan orders: “Gary, do my laundry”
• someone wants Gary’s wife to chop their wood, which she has a reputation for in this group

Gary brags that his wife is his better half. He’s a realistic man.

Rachael left for an appointment

They’re still testing to figure out what’s wrong. She hoped they’d diagnose a fungal infection, but No. Next up was an MRI. Remember our GoFundMe to bring Sarah Paris back from Uranus? It’s being revamped to help mudditors in dire straits.

Rachael’s been staying with family and has four or five appointments a week for “bodywork,” which helps. Her rheumatologist appointment was hard to get. Inflammation — diet changes — therapists.

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. — Tom Waits

Poetry preview

• Carol “would rather have a bottle in front of me” & claims she sucks at poetry
• Amy loves poetry
• Gary proactively put three poetry newsletter drafts in the queue

Andrew: What happened to my agenda?

He yearns to discuss his 3+1 newsletter thoughts with Anu Anniah. Susan says Rachael used to be on point for newsletters. We’re too big for it to be one person’s responsibility now.

• could we promote funny stories that lack attention, with fewer claps, by writers with fewer followers? T. Kent Jones, for instance
• could be a regular feature like 3+1, only promote inexplicable obscurity and include more stories

Discussion of Andrew’s item #3, Disposition of articles that aren’t funny. Art or science?, was postponed.

Susan Spoke Up,

• recommending a movie, The French Dispatch
• saying all mudditors can and should add links to newsletter drafts in the queue
• commanding we each should retweet newsletters
• claiming I helped Milgrim & Clear succeed with their comics
• reiterating tweeting makes a huge difference in promoting ppl. Mastering and maximizing Twitter will make us grow

MuddyUm Comedy Camp/Retreat

BOF’s frustrated with Wix so started over on website creation; Amy’s helping now. Is there still time to congregate this year? Let’s scale back and practice, then do full-scale Ashokan in 2023. Can we afford a week? Perhaps a long weekend.

• Comedy Camp needs a fundraiser! GoFundMe? Kickstarter?

If a Kickstarter project fails, no money is collected from the backers. Their credit cards are not charged unless the project is 100% funded. — Quora, confirmed by Kickstarter here

• Susan has enough Airbnb bedrooms to host the mudditors
• others can make their own lodging arrangements or camp in tent sites on her 2 acres
• let’s call it a comedy retreat, not camp, this year
• the Brearley Estate has kick-ass food!

blah blah improv person blah blah Gary & Paul music blah blah pagan rituals

And there my notes end, abruptly.

¹ I saw Andrew’s agenda on Slack & thought #2 might refer to an unofficial mudditor “Hogan Torah Sharethrough title challenge.”

² Yes but it rhymes.

Attendees besides me and Gary and Susan Brearley were BOFace, Amy Sea, Rachael Ann Sand, Andrew Rodwin, and Carol Lennox after she applied makeup.

Hvis du kan lese denne kommentaren, gotcha, kompiser!³

Open the list below if you are wise, brave, or have no idea what you’re doing.

³ If you can read this comment, gotcha, buddies! In Norwegian, which I don’t speak despite attending a Sons of Norway Language Camp in my youth.

I’m in awe of Smillew’s “brevity is the soul of wit” continuing saga billboard so decided to try customizing my long one, below. No one ever signs up for Medium from my link but that’s OK.

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