𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘊.’s 30-Day Poetry Challenge | Day 12: A time of conflict or turmoil
Twisted Relationships
Tanka of stormy rollercoaster relationships with a borderline
You are the greatest You’re disgusting I hate you Wait please don’t leave me Thrives sowing chaos around Rollercoaster ride from hell
Decoder Ring
I dated a woman with borderline personality disorder. Her life and thus mine on micro and macro levels was a rollercoaster ride of mood swings. People metaphorically talk about malignant narcissists as emotional vampires. Nothing comes close to a borderline — they unwittingly suck the life out of you. A hallmark of a borderline is lionizing and demonizing — the first two lines evoke that. The third line reflects their fear of abandonment. The tell-tale sign that distinguishes a borderline from other separate or sometimes dual diagnoses is “splitting.” They sow chaos in groups by cozying up to one friend and sniping about another and then doing the same thing with other friends in the group, often targeting the alpha. They thrive on creating and controlling the chaos as a cutter feels in control through self-mutilation. This is what the 4th line signifies and the 5th sums up the totality of the toxic relationship.
Life happens in patterns and life lessons are learned from spotting patterns and avoiding repeating mistakes. After the relationship I described (more detail is found in my 2013 self-portrait), I learned how to spot one from close up. In my recent past I had a platonic relationship with one that I knew from afar and when I let her into my apartment to live with me (the why is not for this essay) and things got ugly between us I realized what she was when I spotted the splitting and ran for the hills to limit the damage, which for circumstances that I shall not describe now left me living in hotels for 3 months as I could not get her out of the apartment. That was infinitely more palatable than being stubborn and territorial — the conflict would have been incendiary. This all prepared me to spot one recently on Medium and I am working with those involved to limit the damage without creating a maelstrom. At first, the chaos surrounding this person had me thinking he/she had a strange derivative of Munchausen by proxy except the “baby” was not a human. Then I saw the splitting and I realized the actual disorder.
Here is the link to 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘊.’s 30-day poetry challenge:
Here is the link to my previous entry:
In Rama I create,