Turned Upside Down

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Abstract

fight that should not have happened. She informed me that I was a shit mother who never taught her anything about being an adult. I informed her that she is a selfish princess who always had everything handed to her.</p><p id="a98c">Of course, I had to scour the internet to see if she was right about me not teaching her the correct adult lessons. Maybe I didn’t: I never realized I was supposed to be teaching specific lessons in ‘adult’. Google searches on what you need to know to be an adult led me to various random things. Lists included ideas ranging from how to choose the best wines to serve with fish to how to change your own oil. Neither of these things is on my list of skills so if they are the criteria for adulthood, I failed.</p><p id="d989">But some lists I found actually made sense to me. They included important things like; get a job, file taxes, vote, get a driver’s license, fly by yourself, pay bills, shop for groceries, and wash clothes and dishes. These things my daughter knows how to do: thanks to me. I have taught her, taken her, drug her, or forced her to do these things. Whether she knows it or not, she knows how to be an adult. The very idea that she can leave me on a whim for another state is proof that she knows how to live as an adult.</p><p id="4dd7">So, in the span of 3 days, my world was turned upside down. Many of my plans have to be amended. For instance, I just bought a house and I thought my daughter would be living there with me for a while at least. I feel lost, lonely, disconnected from the world in most ways. But I know it is all temporary. I will find a new normal, eventually. My daughter and I will

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make up and find a new relationship across state lines. Life will go on and be good.</p><p id="2537">~~ <a href="undefined">Rhonda Marrone</a> 8/2021</p><h1 id="c74a">Be Open Says;</h1><div id="e7e3" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/be-open-submission-guidelines-41ea51ef4ef1"> <div> <div> <h2>We Invite You to Become Our Writer — Be Open Submission Guidelines</h2> <div><h3>You don’t have to be a great writer or super perfect human to contribute here. I believe everyone can become inspirator…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*eBrTZS3wC0WwzBZjivi7tg.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="f3d1"><b>Proudly we present you 1 of Be Open Platinum Stories created by: (tag the author’s username here)</b></p><div id="688c" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/tales-from-an-ocd-mind-b3234a34c8c6"> <div> <div> <h2>Tales from an OCD Mind</h2> <div><h3>I do not like the person that I have become, I don’t even know what I like or don’t like anymore. Who am I, as a…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*NK8rY7oP2KrHEcb644YmWg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Turned Upside Down

A Story About Adulthood

In one week — not even one whole week, 3 days — my life and what I had planned for it completely changed, turned upside down. Again! Over the past couple of years, it seems like this has become a regular occurrence.

First, on Monday, my best friend died. It was an expected death; a long, drawn-out, painful, expected death. She had breast cancer which metastasized everywhere, including her brain. She fought to live for years and it was so painful to watch in the last few months. But still, loved ones are never prepared when it actually happens. We think we are. We think we are strong. We think we will be glad the suffering is over. We are. But still, damn it, we want them with us.

Then, two days later, on Wednesday, my 21-year-old daughter informs me she is leaving. Now, tonight! She is going to go live with her girlfriend in Cleveland. Cleveland! I know: she is 21, she should be moving out of my house. It is great that she is moving out of my house. But, damn, girl, two days after my best friend died? (She waited until Thursday afternoon because of an important appointment.)

In the end, my daughter and I got into a massive argument over money; a stupid fight that should not have happened. She informed me that I was a shit mother who never taught her anything about being an adult. I informed her that she is a selfish princess who always had everything handed to her.

Of course, I had to scour the internet to see if she was right about me not teaching her the correct adult lessons. Maybe I didn’t: I never realized I was supposed to be teaching specific lessons in ‘adult’. Google searches on what you need to know to be an adult led me to various random things. Lists included ideas ranging from how to choose the best wines to serve with fish to how to change your own oil. Neither of these things is on my list of skills so if they are the criteria for adulthood, I failed.

But some lists I found actually made sense to me. They included important things like; get a job, file taxes, vote, get a driver’s license, fly by yourself, pay bills, shop for groceries, and wash clothes and dishes. These things my daughter knows how to do: thanks to me. I have taught her, taken her, drug her, or forced her to do these things. Whether she knows it or not, she knows how to be an adult. The very idea that she can leave me on a whim for another state is proof that she knows how to live as an adult.

So, in the span of 3 days, my world was turned upside down. Many of my plans have to be amended. For instance, I just bought a house and I thought my daughter would be living there with me for a while at least. I feel lost, lonely, disconnected from the world in most ways. But I know it is all temporary. I will find a new normal, eventually. My daughter and I will make up and find a new relationship across state lines. Life will go on and be good.