Tucker Carlson Promotes New Conspiracy Theory That Claims The Liberals Were Correct All Along

In a polarizing twist, Fox News host Tucker Carlson argues that much of the disasters and atrocities were not caused by conservatives, but rather caused by liberals being correct.

“The liberals are a scheming, conniving bunch, who pride in logic and scientific reasoning,”

Carlson shouted through a mouthful of white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. The cookies that are now the face of the Republican Party after they thought the liberals cancelled them.

“They left us to our own devices because they said our beliefs are not true. And when we ignored them and went about our business, we later realized that the liberals are the correct ones and not us.

“It is clear that the liberals abiding by the natural understanding of the world has caused the Republican party to disintegrate and collapse. Our two-party system is a disaster, and America would have improved if the liberals ignored truth and reasoning and catered to our feelings. ”

It is unclear of the origins of this theory, but it picked up steam on a Parler message board when user RongELee create a post on why liberals failed the conservative party.

“Think about all the atrocities in USA.” the user started. “Job loss, growing pandemic, violence in the streets. This was all done by the Conservative Party because we ignored what the Liberal Party preached. And rather than forcing us to abide by the rules, the Liberal Party sat back and let us do our own thing. If the Liberal Party actually intervened in our affairs instead of giving us our freedom and rights, we wouldn’t be in this position today.”

RongELee listed the following failures of the Democratic Party to refute his theory.

• allowing freedom of choice, thus allowing conservatives to choose Trump over Hillary Clinton in 2016
• not strictly enforcing masks to be worn, thus allowing people to not wear masks and spread COVID
• allowing freedom of speech, thus allowing the spread of misinformation among QAnon supporters, FoxNews, Newsmax, Parler, etc
• support Texas’s desire to have an independent grid, which failed to help the state during the snow crisis

RongELee admitted that conservatives are still staunch and stubborn on positions like income inequality, pro-life, and Catholicism as the main religion of the USA. However, he argued, that should not be an excuse for liberals to give in to their demands.

“The liberals knew very well that we conservatives care about kindness and compassion on social/climatic issues only when it applies to us. We’ll support gay marriage only if one of our family members is gay. We’ll support abortion only if our daughters accidentally got knocked up. The liberals are fully aware of how little empathy we display, and should have parented us better.”

This movement has picked up so much steam, that Republican Rafael Edward Cruz privately reached out to former President Bill Clinton and begged if he could switch to the Democrat side. The former president was uneasy about a former Republican taking over Andrew Cuomo’s place. However, Clinton said he’ll think about it after Cruz offered his wife as payment.

Donald Trump, the current winner of America’s Biggest Loser, took offense to Carlson saying that all liberals are right. He jumped on his burner account IvankaDaddy to tweet this.

“Tucker Carlson is a DISGRACE to the public, and probably blind as a bat. Anyone can see that all liberals are not white.”

Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are entirely fictional. It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now.

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