Trump’s Dismissal Letter to Comey — Translated

Somebody was mincing his words to mimic the Saturday Night Massacre

Dear Director Comey

= Hey, you…

I have received the attached letters from the Attorney General and Deputy Attorney General of the United States recommending your dismissal as the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

= I ordered Sessions and Rod Rosenstein to find some bullshit reasons and write a couple of letters from templates in the White House Archives

I have accepted their recommendation…

…and you are hereby terminated and removed from office, effective immediately.

=You’re Fired

While I greatly appreciate you informing me,

=Fuck you. Read carefully here, I am about to forfeit my executive privilege…

on three separate occasions

= we both know you’re too much of a law-and-order guy to give me this assurance.

[Update June 8: Comey confirms that he gave Trump this assurance.]

Plus I’m guilty…

that I am not under investigation

= … as hell

I nevertheless concur with the judgment of the Department of Justice that you are not able to effectively lead the Bureau

= I agree with myself and my own order to find excuses to get rid of you. You‘re too fucking nosey and you just asked for more money to fund the investigation of my lawless dealings with the Russians. Whale Oil Beef Hooked if I’m going to sponsor your snooping anymore.

It is essential that we find new leadership for the FBI that restores the public trust and confidence in its vital law enforcement mission

= Another job vacancy for a white supremacist lackey

I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors

=Get The Fuck Out

Donald J. Trump

=The Orange Comedy of DNA Errors

OR, in 140 characters:

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