Why Trump Fired Comey — Three More Plausible Reasons Than Hillary

It has now been revealed that the real reason that Trump fired Comey is because Trump is jealous of the attention that Comey gets from women and envious of Comey being more famous than him.

Whenever Comey is in the room, Trump gets an attack of the green-eyed monster. Donnie tries to grab the attention of women at social events in The White House but their attention always strays to Comey, Comey, Comey.

Like Obama who actually appointed the Republican Comey to be FIB Director, the Trumpian himself was once in thrall to the Comey magic:

On the same occasion, he nuzzled Comey’s neck:

Trump played court to Comey by praising him in public:

One (anonymous) White House employee said that whenever Comey enters the room, the women turn to stare.

Here are the real reasons why Comey had to go:

• Comey is taller (6'8"). Search “Trump Comey Photo” for visual evidence. (Envy)
• Comey is slimmer and has an imposing presence. (Envy)
• Comey’s got better hair (Envy)
• Comey’s suits fit him better (Envy)
• Comey gets more attention from both women and men (Jealousy)
• It was simply time: The American Thinker asked on May 7, “Why is Comey Still Around?” Trump happened to notice the article as he swiped his phone Monday morning at 3am. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back, this was the drop that runneth the cup over, this was the spur that generated thousands of mixed metaphors in Trump’s mind, finally moving him to action.

“I can’t fucking stand that prick”, Trump said.

“You can’t write that in the firing letter”, protested Jeff Sessions.

“I’ll write whatever I want and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it,” retorted Trump.

Gathering the restraint that he had previously thrown to the winds, Trump claimed that it was because of incompetence: Comey’s presser in July and letter in October.

In the dismissal letter Trump claimed to “concur” with the Attorney General and Deputy Attorney General’s evaluation of Comey as incompetent.

The Three Reasons?

So, one is Envy, one is Jealousy and the third is

RUSSIA

Update May 14: I erred greviously when I neglected to mention the hands. Patricia reminded me when I saw her tweet:

Click here to view a to-scale drawing.

Here’s Comey keeping an eye on 45’s tweets:

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More on Comey:

PS.

Stop comparing this to Watergate, it’s not the same thing at all: