Truehearted

Dead Poets Live Prompt_________ like me

I wrote this poem in response to the Dead Poets Live prompt which was based on the Langston Hughs poems Carol of the Brown King and Dream Variations, in which Hughs explores what it to be “black like me.”

There were several cues I found in the prompt article, which I took when creating this poem. These included:

• Writing something that was relatively innocuous on the surface but burning in context,
• Exploring what lies beneath the surface of what we perhaps believe to be commonly accepted values and
• The idea of revising these values to reflect something completely different from their original meaning and the expectations that went along with it
• What it is to be an insider vs. an outsider
• Rethinking what we find acceptable and having the courage to redefine ideals once more instead of just doing what is easy
• Using simple narrative language to communicate a more complex truth

The author of the prompt seemed to be going for subtlety, in line with Hughs’ way of addressing the concepts of presence and belonging. I don’t know that I hit this mark, the cathartic air of my poem feeling a bit more raw and obvious but perhaps I succeed at including a touch of subtlety here and there, at least I hope so. And finally, “dynamite for children,” was mentioned twice. I’m not sure exactly what this meant so I have absolutely no idea whether or not I achieved it — I suspect I did not — but that’s for the readers to decide.

Truehearted

There’s no need to teach a dog to be loyal — Loyal like me — That’s just the way they are So ingrained is this That even when it’s unreturned They cannot look at us With hate or hurt And when next we need them They’ll be there Just as eager as the first time

We are created far superior Or we like to think Citing taxonomies learned in grade school Of subspecies, species, genera, families With us ever the highest order When we perhaps feel guilty Or just wonder if we should For the ever changing landscape of loyalty Leaves a question mark as to what is best Best for us alone

“Loyalty!” we shout. — But only when it suits us “Loyalty!” again. — When it doesn’t cost us “Loyalty!” our fists up — So long as others watch us “Loyalty!” one more time. — For our public image

We remind ourselves what Darwin said Imagining him smiling down But Darwin spoke of survival of species The fittest never considered just on singular grounds For individuals cannot survive as such And tricks and traps and lack of genuineness May maintain a group mentality Filled with isolated members Casting out those who can’t pretend Can’t save face Or smile while holding tight behind calculating eyes Ever loyal to the end Providing no real sacrifice is required

Because it is so difficult — Too much to expect, really Loyalty has been reimagined As a joke, a weakness, a character flaw So hardly anyone is loyal — Loyal like me — Almost no one would be willing The pain of being loyal to everyone else When knowing they will not stand by in return The support they offer today Not even a memory tomorrow

A laughing stock, valueless and invisible Repeating inborn patterns when opportunity again presents Though each time eyes threaten more and more Until they spill over But the true pain comes from the thought The questions “What if I was to become like them? Would I be accepted then? Valued, embraced, understood, protected? And would I finally be happy?” It is these questions that leads what could be a transient catharsis To become an endless torrent of tears, or wracking sobs That once begun Never stop until replaced by numbness

No, it doesn’t pay to be loyal like me But then I can be nothing else And though I might wonder what belonging would feel like It would cost me everything Better to remain as a dog Than to hold myself out to be human While lacking all aspects of humanity

Thanks to David S. for the prompt and Anna Rozwadowska, for inspiring me with her response entitled, Genuine.

Natalie Frank (Taye Carrol) has had her poetry featured in several anthologies including Untimely Frost. Her fiction has been published in Haunted Waters Press, Weirdbook Magazine, Siren’s Call Publications, Lycan Valley Press and Zero Fiction among others. Her collection of poetry, Disguised I Breathe, In Love I Hold, can be found on Amazon under her pen name, Taye Carrol.

If you enjoyed reading this poem, you might also like these:

You can also find links to all of the articles, stories, fiction and poetry I publish on Medium here. Thanks for reading!