Treat Yourself With Surprises Along With Self-Love

To turn around the difficult times

I was going through some difficult emotions and was super depressed. I was desperate for some good things to happen in my life, and I felt like nothing was in my control.

Over the weekend, I called my sister to give her a heads-up about my sad mood and the upcoming short visit to her house.

That evening, as she opened the door, she stood there with a gaping look, her eyeballs scanning me from top to bottom. I was wearing a bright blue dress with my face and hair glowing in the freshly done make-over.

She exclaimed: I was not expecting to see you like this. You are looking great and happy. We continued to have a beautiful conversation as always over a hot pot of tea.

I chose to dress up that evening only to surprise myself. Maybe to confuse my tired mind by showing it a face that is terribly in sync with the feelings of my heart. To make the index of the mind unrecognizable to the mind itself ?!

My choice to surprise myself changed the context for that entire evening. Nonetheless, I felt proud blowing away my sister’s mind in addition to my own.

Two weeks later: At a restaurant with my then-boyfriend, we were eating a whole buffet meal mercilessly to escape the truth of the moment. The harsh reality was that marriage was not in the cards for us. And we couldn’t do anything about it.

Our conversations were becoming so hard, helplessly draining our hopeful hearts. We had nothing to say as we stared at each other. My eyes welled up with uninvited tears thinking this might be our last happy[?!] meeting. In an awkward moment like that, I quickly distracted by pulling us both away from it by saying, “oh wait, did my eye make-up smudge?” and corrected it looking at the phone.

We both laughed hopelessly.

This trick to say and do unexpected things in the most unexpected moments had saved me and my loved one a million tears!!

And it is now a non-negotiable part of my self-care routine.

As Niklas Göke points out in his article, “Routines determine your identity, rituals merely express it.” I have realized, Self-care is my routine, and surprising myself is a ritual that is irreplaceable.

Inspired by this short story about self-care from Yana Bostongirl

We turn not older with years, but newer every day -Emily Dickinson

© Tamil

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