Traveling Solo is an Empowering Experience
I stepped out of my comfort zone and explored New Jersey and New York solo
Several of my favorite writers on this platform have inspired me to take a trip alone.
Never in a million years did I think I would end up doing this.
Co-dependant, much? Being that I haven’t even been out to dinner or the movies alone in my life, I didn’t expect to want to take a trip somewhere solo.
Although, I absolutely love hiking alone because I rarely see other people on the hike’s that I choose.
My trip started in western Massachusetts while moving my daughter into her new apartment. She only spent one night in the hotel with me and I was there for 3.
When I left my baby girl for the first time ever to live on her own, I embarked upon an unfamiliar journey that was thrilling and scary at the same time.
You might be thinking, what is this chick so scared about? I started thinking about that, too. Was I scared?
On the drive to New York, I felt calm yet wondered if I was going to like being alone for 3 more nights.
The only time I’ve stayed alone in a hotel wasn’t for a solo vacation. It was to drink myself silly, which I don’t count as a solo trip.
That was just solo hell.
Anyway, after meeting with a Medium friend on the way, I finally made it through the bumper-to-bumper traffic outside Manhattan. Once I got close to the city and had about 5 miles left, I finally arrived 45 minutes later.
A realization: I don’t love cities anymore. Going from the rural area of Massachusetts that I was in, to this crazy, hectic mass of people enforced my love for nature.
Everything is a shade of gray with dark undertones.
The mood is different. The people are less cheerful. The party lifestyle is massive. But, I knew what I wanted to do here and it wasn’t to be deep in the city.
I’ve been to Times Square, Soho, Downtown, Midtown, Upper East and West, Chelsea, and Greenwich Village.
I was once infatuated with New York City. It was during the rise of Sex and the City when most of us wanted to be sophisticated ladies sipping manhattans in the bustling city. I thought about the city all the time and how I wanted to move there.
My best friend and I partied the night away during Y2K in the heart of Manhattan at a club that I couldn’t tell you the name of. My husband and I went several times and we did a big family trip.
There are so many other things to explore in New York that I never thought of seeing in my younger, wild years.
So, now it was time.
I decided to stay in Jersey City because…
- I was driving and I didn’t want to deal with driving in the city. I knew I made the right choice when I was stuck in insane traffic outside of the city.
- I was meeting a friend in New Jersey the day after I checked in.
- Where the hell do you park in Manhattan?
- I was alone and for some reason, Jersey City sounded like a better option.
I knew I made the right choice when I arrived and it was a quiet area that was well kept. It was also right next to the PATH train that takes you directly to Manhattan.
After checking in, I knew my time was limited so I put my sneakers on and headed out on foot. On my recent trips, I was always in the city, never near the water.
We’ve all seen pictures of New York from a distance and I knew I could get to a park to take in the whole city. It was only a 6-mile round trip walk.
I could do this, I told myself, even though it was 80 degrees, humid with only a slight breeze and plus, I didn’t hit the gym that morning.
A podcast on with my trusted hat, I head out the door but realize I forgot sunscreen.
Shit. I’ll be fine, says the whitest California girl you’ve ever seen.
The walk there was enjoyable. The buildings are still tall enough in Jersey City to cast a shadow on one side of the street, so I picked that side.
As I approached my destination, Liberty State Park, I passed through a dilapidated marina with a unique charm that screamed east coast. Once at the park, I realize that I am in Jersey City’s little slice of heaven. Despite the occasional walker and biker, it was quiet.
I caught sight of the structure that I came to see. Two constructed towers block parts of the city skyline. The Empty Sky Memorial remembers New Jersey’s victims of the September 11th attack. The steel walls are pointed directly at where the twin towers once resided. I am sure that everyone feels heavy, remembering that day, as they approach the structure. The names of the victims are inscribed in the walkway of the two steel structures.
There is even a part of the building that lays in front of the Empty Sky Memorial. The families of the victims helped organize the Memorial Foundation and because this was where many people observed the tragedy, it seemed like a fitting location.
The whole park was magnificent including reclining liberty, trails that followed the Hudson River, and views of the Statue of Liberty. Making the 6-mile trek was definitely worth it. I spent an hour wandering and resting at the park before heading back to the hotel, where I quickly got into my pajamas and ordered takeout.
After eating, I came to realize that my hotel neighbors were the absolute worst. It must have been a kid’s birthday party because kids were screaming and running up and down the hallway until about 8 pm, then partied in their room on and off until 2 in the morning!!
I called the front desk several times but the screaming and pounding didn’t subside until the wee hours of the morning. When I was finally so fed up, I changed rooms.
The following day, I headed east and met a friend for lunch. After plotting the map, I noticed the dark green spots that were close to our lunch spot. As I zoomed in, I read, “Great Swamp National Wildlife Refuge”. My eyes almost bugged out of my skull and although that is easy to do, given the size of my eyes, I knew I had to visit.
After lunch, I changed in the backseat of my car, and thankfully no one was around, just the way I like it when I set off on a solo hike. I stepped out of my car and heard the crickets chirping and the trees rustling while swaying making nature’s music.
There was no need for a podcast here, I needed to hear the sounds of the swamp. Pathways were a maze, taking you through different parts of the swamp and to different viewing spots where you obviously couldn’t walk. I could have stayed here for hours but it was approaching 5 pm and I didn’t want to get caught trying to navigate city driving at night.
Needless to say, since it was a Friday at 5 pm, it took a good chunk of time to arrive back at the hotel. Take out it was, once again. Good thing there were restaurants across the street from my hotel.
Usually, I try and find the best and most interesting places to eat but being that I was alone and active all day, I chose to eat in my hotel bed. I also wanted to be rested for my big solo trip into the city the following day.
When I first visited New York City in my youth, there were no smartphones and navigating the subway was a challenge. A friend and I got lost several times while trying to follow the map.
Present day, it was so easy and flawless to navigate with detailed instructions from my phone. Thank you, Google maps. A quick search to Central Park by train and I walked next door to the PATH train entrance and was on my way.
Everything was going well until I changed trains where I was followed into the train by a deranged woman that was screaming at the top of her lungs as the doors closed. My friend that I met the previous day told me that I should take a taxi into the city but I’ve been on the subways, so I thought she was just being extra cautious. Although when the lady began spitting at all the passengers, I wondered why I didn’t take my friend’s advice.
Thankfully, the next stop was mine to exit because I held my breath for as long as I could while escaping the area where spit was flying.
My 3-hour tour of Central Park consisted of walking almost 8 miles, hitting up most of the sights, grabbing a quick lunch for a picnic, and walking the gorgeous reservoir.
After my legs couldn’t make another move, I hobbled back to the subway where there were a group of men smoking weed and continued to smoke on the actual train. Oh, the things that happen in New York City.
I made it back to my hotel in one piece, unscathed, and sore while deciding that my entire solo trip would include takeout at night. All in all, I had a great time exploring but decided that I don’t really love being alone in a hotel room.
Maybe that is me being co-dependent but I realized that I enjoy having a travel buddy, even if there are compromises to be made about the travel itinerary.
Have you embarked on a solo vacation? Or, are you curious about taking one like I was? It was exhilarating, exhausting, and empowering and I am thrilled to say that I did it. It is something that I never thought I would do but it was a boost to my self-confidence and I encourage anyone to try it, at least once!
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Thanks for reading!
Much love, Michele
