Too Much Positive Thinking is Just Denial

When Positive Mental Attitude Becomes Toxic Positivity

Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.

There are a lot of positives in the human experience. However, celebrating the positives should not come at the expense of ignoring or suppressing the negatives.

It is impossible to find solutions if you are ignoring the problems.

While navigating through challenging experiences is best done with a positive mental attitude, positive thinking should be focused on how you absorb the negative experience and move on from it, not avoid the negative feelings or experiences altogether.

What is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is the pressure to stay positive no matter how negative the situation is and comes at the expense of dismissing genuine emotions. Healing Culture promotes the use of toxic positivity as a form of recovering from distressing or traumatic events.

Healing is Better Than Happiness

Happiness is an emotional state. Healing is a state of being.

Happiness is a temporary emotion that arises from positive experiences. Emotions are not static, they continuously move and shift. Despite our best efforts, it is not possible to be genuinely happy all of the time.

The only permanent part of the human experience is our consciousness or awareness. When we start living with awareness we learn to accept and process all emotions, not just the positive ones. We embrace each negative emotion or experience as a stepping stone on our personal development journey and awaken to the fact that it is from these negative situations that we grow.

The Dark Side of Denial

There is a thin line between positive thinking and denial.

It’s natural to want to avoid negative emotions or experiences. But only seeking positivity is an idealistic way of life that dismisses realistic challenges and obstacles.

You’re only as sick as your secrets.

Denial is a defense mechanism that helps us cope with difficult situations. Living in a state of denial begins with not being honest with anyone, least of all yourself, about the true depths of your emotions.

It may feel comfortable to distance yourself from negative situations, however, the harder you try to escape the grip of reality, the tighter it holds you.

Denial can manifest in short and long-term health conditions, such as anxiety, depression, or derealisation. When you decide to face the consequences of the negative experience, no matter how much time has passed, you may feel like you’ve been ‘stuck’ there the entire time.

How to Conquer Denial With a Positive Attitude

While the world tells us the ‘benefits’ of having a constant positive outlook, there is a forgotten, more advantageous viewpoint; a balanced perspective.

A balanced perspective involves considering various viewpoints, understanding different sides of a situation, and avoiding extreme or biased views. Here are the beginning steps to stop living in denial and embrace the full spectrum of emotions for your personal development and emotional well-being.

Self-Awareness

Acknowledge and accept the presence of denial and recognise its impact on your mindset. Start understanding the impact of your responses to situations, and seek to recognise the root cause of your pain.

Through the development of self-awareness, you can break free from cycles of suffering by promoting self-reflection and a more intentional approach to life.

Acceptance

Embrace the reality of the situation, and its effect on you.

Pain is an inevitable part of the human experience, but it doesn’t have to be a life sentence.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do for your emotional well-being is to release your belief of how you think things should be, and surrender to how they are.

Unfortunately, we can’t change reality. But we can change how we respond to it.

Once you begin this approach, you will create space for genuinely positive experiences, find emotional maturity, and have a greater well-being.

Seek External Perspectives

If you are struggling to understand the situation through your own self-reflection and acceptance practises, then speaking to a trusted friend, family member, or counsellor may help. They may offer insights that you might be overlooking, or help you create a balanced perspective.

Having a positive outlook is not always damaging, but denying the negative experiences is. Living in denial can have detrimental effects on your well-being, hindering personal growth and distorting your perception of reality. However, it doesn’t have to be that way forever.

By embracing self-reflection, accepting all experiences and emotions, and seeking support, you can break free from the confines of denial.

Remember, change is a gradual process, and with the right tools, you can cultivate a healthier and more authentic way of living. Ultimately, deciding to confront denial opens the door to personal empowerment and a more fulfilling life.

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