Defining Healing Culture

The Foundation of a World Obsessed with Healing

In an era revolved around the evolution of sociology through cultivating deeper understandings of ourselves and others, lives a toxic subculture; Healing Culture. Healing, the psychological progress of dealing with problems, is a mental journey we all take at least once in our lives. Though sometimes painful and uncomfortable, it often leads us to a deeper connection to ourself and healthier relationships with others. However, when lead under the wrong guidance, it can result in us developing harmful habits and deeper wounds than we started with. In this post, I will be explaining what Healing Culture is, the dangers of the movement and how to recognise toxic healing advice online.

Defining ‘Healing Culture’

‘Healing Culture’ is the promotion of obsessive introspection and forms of toxic positivity, typically led by life coaches and influencers on social media. The obsessive introspection is self serving, encourages you to judge yourself, others, and be extremely individualistic. In short, Healing Culture promotes introspection that is centred around making everything about yourself, rather than an introspection that encourages awareness of how you show up for yourself and in relationships.

Since 2004, the term ‘Self Care’ has had a 250% increase in searches on Google, and a 107% increase in the last 5 years. Research also shows that when an individual buys one self-help book, they go onto buy seven more. Our yearn for self-improvement is incessant, and with the recent changes to how to we live our lives, it’s no wonder why. The COVID19 pandemic and subsequent lockdowns isolated us from our friends and families, and consequently since there has been a huge increase in individuals working from home, contributing to us spending more time by ourself, and online. In times of solitude we feel safe enough to peel back the layers of our identity, and come face-to-face with our true Self in all its ways; the good, and the bad. And just like any modern crisis, we usually first turn to the internet for help.

The Roots

Healing Culture is primarily built on the theory of ‘positive thinking’. Whilst the roots of positive thinking go far back to ancient Eastern spiritual practises of ‘mindfulness’, the modern practise of positive psychology can be traced back to William James, 1842–1910. James was inspired by Darwin’s evolutionary theory, and had a theoretical perspective to psychology which became known as ‘functionalism’. His concern was why some people seemed to able to thrive and overcome adversity, while others developed mental health problems. James’s theory was that the key to understanding the optimal human functioning was understanding subjective experience.

The theory fell into the hands of later psychologists and continued to expand. In 1937, Napoleon Hill wrote a book called, ‘Think and Grow Rich’, which is the first piece of literature to include the concept ‘Positive Mental Attitude’ (PMA). Though the book doesn’t use the term, it discusses the importance of positive thinking as a contributing factor of success. Another staple of PMA literature is Norman Vincent Peales’s, ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’, released in 1952. Peale, who is called the ‘father of positive thinking’, gives direct-action application of spiritual techniques to overcome defeat, and have a successful and happy life.

Positive thinking, or PMA’s benefits in modern psychology have been scientifically proven. Studies have shown that the benefits of positive thinking include helping you live longer and reducing loneliness. However, PMA has continued to evolve and has now birthed a separate entity; toxic positivity. The distinctions between the two can be hard to find, however positive thinking and toxic positivity are not the same.

Recognising healthy vs toxic healing

If ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ is the father of positive thinking, then ‘The Law of Attraction’ is the mother of Healing Culture. For those who are unaware of what the law of attraction is, its most basic principle is, ‘what you focus on, you attract’. The roots of the law of attraction go far back to the teachings of Phineas Quimby and are a principle in the New Thought Movement, but became popularised in modern culture in Rhonda Byrne’s 2006 book, The Secret. I have met several people who feel that The Secret and the principle of the law of attraction has positively impacted their life, if you want to know my opinion then please read my previous blogs on ‘Toxic Positivity’ and ‘Affirmations’.

Healing Culture is centred around a few concepts: main character syndrome, toxic positivity, and lack of (or zero) personal accountability which often comes with blaming and shaming other people. It promotes the idea of you being the ‘main character’ and encourages a way of thinking that everything is about you; like why someone isn’t texting you back, why someone is repeatedly hurting your feelings etc. Yes, we are the main character in our own lives, but in everyone else’s lives we are just part of the ensemble. In other words, while we constantly feel like we’re the victim of someone’s actions against us, we’re often just collateral damage in their own tragedy. This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t be hurt by other peoples actions, and we can’t set reasonable boundaries, it’s about recognising that not everything that happens to you in life is, really, about you.

A constant theme I see in Healing Culture content, is an effort to decode someone else’s behaviour, which usually ends in diagnosing someone as a narcissist, or just emotionally immature. Often, this content claims to have the absolute answer as to why an individual is behaving the way the are, and follows with dramatic steps you should then take (block them, quit your job, move house etc). Projecting our problems onto others, and blaming them for our suffering is a natural, yet self-deprecating part of the human experience. Society has a tendency to focus on fault and punishment rather than growth and learning. It’s important, and empowering, to accept that, yes, not everything that happens to us is our fault, but how we move forward with our lives is our responsibility.

I believe that real healing starts with surrendering to this fact…we can never know for sure what is ‘wrong’ with this other person, and why they are continuing to behave in ways that are hurtful to us. But, with the right kind of introspection, we can surrender to the truth that their actions are hurtful to us. And under the guidance of your own intuition or clinical help, you can learn how to set boundaries and stick to them, develop tools for self-regulation and learn the skills to create positive and healthier relationships in the future.

Genuine emotional healing involves acknowledging and processing the root causes of emotional distress. It focuses on deep, lasting transformation by confronting and processing emotions. The path of authentic healing requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and the strength to take accountability for your reactions and responses to adversity. Here is some advice I have for anyone looking to avoid becoming part of Healing Culture and escape the constraints of toxic positivity:

1. Accept and surrender to the pain. You have to ‘feel to heal’. In order to find any positive in the pain, you must first accept that you are in pain.
2. Focus on what you can know, not what you want to know. Curiosity is a beautiful part of the human experience, yet it can also be torturing. There are so many answers that we wish we could find, yet so few we can; so embrace that. Instead of asking, ‘Why are they behaving this way?’, ask yourself, ‘How does their behaviour make me feel?’.
3. Embrace Authenticity: In the pursuit of a healthier, more fulfilled self, we must allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
4. Be mindful of who you follow online. If you are following ‘healing’ pages that are built upon defining someone else’s behaviour — unfollow them. Instead, follow pages that encourages introspection of how you show up for yourself and for others.
5. Seek professional help. There are many amazing self-help books and social media accounts, that have genuinely changed my life for the better, however, it’s important to remember that it should not be a replacement for clinical help.

In conclusion, recognising the difference between genuine healing and Healing Culture, is of paramount importance in our journey towards well-being and personal growth. Genuine emotional healing involves facing and processing our underlying emotions, allowing for true transformation and lasting well-being.

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