Tony Robbins Says We Can Change Our Lives By Understanding Pain and Pleasure

We can learn to condition our minds, bodies, and emotions

Awaken The Giant Within by Tony Robbins is currently top of my reading pile. This time, I’m going one step further and I’m reading it with a notepad and pen on my bedside table. I’ve read countless self-help books over the years, finished them, put them away, and haven’t thought of them again. But, am I truly learning anything that way? Maybe, maybe not. Some of it might have seeped into my subconscious mind. However, as I’ve continued to develop my writing muscles, note-taking seemed like a great way to pair my love of reading with my love of writing.

I was struck by this passage in chapter 3.

The truth is that we can learn to condition our minds, bodies, and emotions to link pain or pleasure to whatever we choose. By changing what we link pain and pleasure to, we will instantly change our behaviors. — Anthony Robbins

One example Tony gives is alcohol. He saw his father drinking regularly and thought it was a cool thing to do. He wanted to try it. He associated alcohol with pleasure. Why would his father do it so often if it wasn’t pleasurable? His mother tried to dissuade him, but when that failed, she tried the opposite tack and encouraged him. Tony drank a 6-pack of beer and spewed everywhere. He then had to clean up his alcohol-soaked vomit. None of that experience was pleasurable. He now had a different association with alcohol — pain. It deterred him from drinking again.

This got me thinking about what has changed in my life. Had I changed my perception of anything? The obvious one for me is exercise.

I’m 40 and fitter than I have ever been. How did that happen?

I exercised regularly at school, and I enjoyed it. But, I only did it because I had to. It was part of the curriculum. I left school, worked in office roles, did little/no exercise, and piled on weight. When I eventually thought I should do something about it, I exercised. I associated exercise with weight loss. It seemed an inconvenience. I was only doing it because I felt I had to. Each time I succeeded in losing weight, I stopped exercising. Job done. Of course, it wasn’t the end of the story. I dieted/exercised several times over the years to shift the weight I had piled on. It was always a chore. Exercise equaled pain. Until it didn’t. So, what changed?

I found something I enjoyed doing.

Six years ago, unhappy with myself and how heavy and unfit I had become, I forced myself to start running. Again, it was another resurgence of pain. I didn’t want to run, I just didn’t want to be fat. At this point, I gave occasional thought to my diet and tried to make better choices with food but I still didn’t realise that alcohol was continuing to cause me pain and contribute to weight gain. Running would be the solution, whether I liked it or not. I would do it until I shifted the excess weight and then that would be enough.

I started running in January 2018. It was hard. I didn’t follow a program, I just laced up and headed out the door. Each run would be a step closer to slimmer. I would become frustrated with myself when I had to walk or stop. I was a horrible coach to myself. I remember mentally abusing myself:

“Don’t stop! It’s no wonder you’re fat. Keep going!”

In hindsight, I wonder what would have happened if I had been a bit nicer to myself. Would I have kept going, or would I have let myself off the hook? Shrug. However, it seemed my inner-Goggins worked for me. I kept going and something magical happened — I fell in love with running. It was no longer about weight loss. It was no longer a chore. It was no longer painful. It was a pleasure.

Here’s that quote again:

The truth is that we can learn to condition our minds, bodies, and emotions to link pain or pleasure to whatever we choose. By changing what we link pain and pleasure to, we will instantly change our behaviors. — Anthony Robbins

My mind is now conditioned to link pleasure to running. Running is my painkiller. Running is great for me physically and mentally. I am grateful for my ability to run. I am grateful for every opportunity running gives me. I am grateful for the change in me, the change brought about by switching from thinking that running is a pain to thinking that running is a pleasure. It has changed my life for the better. It is the best example I have relating to Tony’s quote.

Is there something in your life you associate with pain?

What do you associate with pleasure?

What changes can you make for the better?

Thanks for reading!

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