An Open Letter

To The Traffic Cop Who Works At Food Lion

It’s just not that serious. Trust me.

Dear Indoor Flagger Type Person,

Come off the Red Bull. Clearly, you’ve had WAY too many. Every time I’m ready to checkout there you are. Your little vest. And what’s that thing hanging around your neck? Please tell me it isn’t a whistle! Mic hanging out of your ear. The only thing more subversive would be if you talked into your sleeve.

I’m always right where I want to be and then BOOM. Here you come.

“Would you like to move over to Self Check Lane # 2? There’s no waiting.”

One of these days my brain will engage my mouth before the editing machine kicks in.

“You don’t say? I couldn’t see that open and available line right next to me. But no, thank you. I’ll stay right where I am. Thanks to silly old COVID I can’t lick my fingers to open the bags so…”

And then I’d shrug my shoulders and act as though the entire ordeal never happened. I mean come on.

It’s really not that serious.

Save it for Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. THAT’S when you’re going to need it.

Sincerely, I Ain’t Baggin’ My Own Crap

My source of inspiration :)