To Be Ambitious Is To Be Alone

Summary

The author discusses the trade-offs of pursuing ambition at the expense of social life, reflecting on the potential health risks of loneliness and the personal value of low-maintenance relationships and goal orientation.

Abstract

The article titled "To Be Ambitious Is To Be Alone" delves into the personal sacrifices one makes when choosing to prioritize ambition and personal goals over a social life. The author, who has chosen to forgo an active social life in favor of financial success, a nice home, regular vacations, and being a good spouse and parent, ponders whether this is an inevitable part of adulthood. They express a preference for meaningful relationships that require little maintenance and are less time-consuming, allowing for a focus on personal ambitions such as family, money, and life planning. The author admits to being less interested in the company of college students,

Is this a by-product of becoming a grown-up?

There was a meme that I saw some time ago that in life, you can only choose two out of three things: money, social life, and having a family. Ironically, I’m now that living meme.

I have big ambitions; I want a nice house, regular vacations, financial freedom and to be a good husband and father. So as you can see, I’ve chosen to let go of my social life.

The problem with social

I’ll admit that being social is my weakness, but I’ll explain.

I believe in having low-maintenance relationships. I hope that my friends know that they reach out to me anytime. Of course, I’ve no way of knowing that because I never told them. But hey, if they asked they’d know right?

Honestly, college students aren’t the kind of people I vibe with. I’m 25 years old, newly married and I have things that I need to work towards. I’d rather be talking about family, money, and life in general. These kids in my class just turned legal so alcohol is their life, and I’m way past that.

The more people you hang out with, the more politics you risk getting yourself into. I don’t need additional things on my mind, and I don’t have time to deal with petty feelings. While it’s nice to have company occasionally, the presence of people is a form of distraction from your goals. You subconsciously spend time thinking about what the other person is thinking and look for ways to accommodate them. Instead of spending valuable time to think about your next steps towards your goal, you spend it on how to make someone feel good.

Can you handle being alone?

Medically speaking, loneliness is not good for any human being. According to the CDC, loneliness increases the risk of dementia by 50%, associated with an almost 30% increased risk for stroke, and an increased risk of premature death, to name a few. But how do you know if you’re actually lonely or just okay being alone? It is a question that I’ve still no answer to for myself.

As a health-conscious person, I am afraid that I might be overlooking the fact that I may be lonely. Maybe the fact that I’m more concerned about the health consequences than being lonely is an indication I’m not lonely.

Having goals gives purpose to life, and I think wanting to maximize time working towards those goals is natural. The other two aspects of my life are more important than maintaining a social life to me.

I know that having connections can make things easier. It’s the trade between connections and effort that I don’t find always worth it. I value the people who still make the effort to check on me from time to time. Perhaps, I should be a better friend sometimes.