To Admonish Someone In Private Is To Advise Him And Improve Him — But To Admonish Him Publicly Is To Disgrace And Shame Him:

Giving sincere advice is one of the prominent characteristics of Islamic brotherhood — it is part of perfect Faith and Ihsaan. For a Muslim’s Faith cannot be perfect until he loves For his brother what he loves For himself — and until he hates For his brother what he hates For himself. This Forms the motive For giving sincere advice.

There is a General etiquette For giving sincere advice to which the one who is compassionate towards the Muslims should adhere. This includes the Following:

• His motive For giving advice should be love of good For his brother and hating For anything bad to befall him.

Ibn Rajab (May Allah have mercy on him) said: With regard to giving sincere advice to the Muslims, [the one who wishes to do that] should love for them what he loves For himself, hate For them what he hates For himself, Feel compassion For them, show mercy to their young ones, show respect to their elders, and share their grief and their joy, even if that is detrimental to his worldly interests, such as loving for prices to be dropped for them, even if that causes him to lose some profits on what he sells of trade goods.

By the same token, he should hate everything that could cause them harm. He should love what is good for them, and hope For harmony to exist among them and For them to continue enjoying the blessings of Allah. He should pray that they always prevail against their enemies and that all harm be warded off From them.

Abu ‘Amr ibn as-Salaah said: Naseehah (sincerity, sincere advice) is a comprehensive word which means that the one who is sincere should want all kinds of good For the one to whom advice is offered, and should try to achieve that For him. (Jaami‘ al-‘Uloom wa’l-Hukam — p. 80).

•He should be sincere when giving advice, seeking thereby to please Allah(swt).

•He should not intend when giving advice to shame his brother or put him down.

•The advice should be given in a spirit of brotherhood and Friendship — with no element of rebuke or harshness.

Ibn Hazm (May Allah have mercy on him) said: If you give advice, then give advice in private, not in public, and by hinting, not by speaking bluntly, unless the person to whom advice is given will not understand hints, in which case there is no option but to speak bluntly… If you go beyond these guidelines, then you are wronging him and are not being sincere in your advice.

(Al-Akhlaaq wa’s-Siyar — p.45).

The Prophet (saw) said: “Religion is sincerity.” We said: To whom? He said: “To Allah, to His Book, to His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their common Folk.”(Muslim :55)

Ibn al-Atheer (May Allah have mercy on him) said: Sincerity towards the common Folk of the Muslims means: guiding them to that which is in their best interests. (An-Nihaayah — 5/142).

Purify Your Intentions Before Giving Advice:

Our intentions, whether explicit or hidden, act as the catalyst in determining the Final outcome of our actions.

The Prophet (saw) said: “Actions are but by intentions and each person will have but that which he intended” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari :1 and Muslim:1907).

Therefore, whenever you decide to correct and advise others — pause to ask yourself if your intent is to sincerely help the other person or to punish and belittle the person by exposing his defects. Surprisingly, just asking the question can reveal your hidden intentions. That will provide you an opportunity to stop yourself if you are Fueled by the wrong intentions that are hidden in your psyche, which in turn can lead you on the path of “condemning” others.

You should practice what you preach, doing what you enjoin people to do and refraining From that which you Forbid them to do.

Allah (swt) said, rebuking the Children of Israel For the contradiction between their words and deeds (interpretation of the meaning): “Do you order righteousness of the people and Forget yourselves while you recite the Scripture? Then will you not reason?” (Al-Baqarah 2:44).

There is a stern warning to the one who tells people to do what is right when he does not do it himself — and Forbids them to do what is wrong when he does it himself.

Therefore, it is our duty to take care of each other in the true sense so that we can use this life to beautify our Hereafter. And to reach that end — we need to be vigilant in ensuring that Islamic Teachings are implemented and followed correctly. This necessitates giving and taking correct advice and constructive criticism wherever required. May Allah (swt)accept our good deeds. (Ameen).

JazakAllah (May Allah reward you [with] goodness)for reading.

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