Tips for a Successful Downsizing
Losing the Stuff Without Losing Your Mind
Moving is hard. It’s stressful and it can be a challenge to maintain your sanity throughout the process. But downsizing significantly while moving — well that’s when you find out exactly what you are made of!
I’ve downsized twice in the last four years going from my 4,200 square foot, three-car garage, finished basement home to a small farmhouse, and then on to a two-bedroom apartment.
Net loss: 3300 square feet, garage, barns, basements, attics, clothes, mementos, and the clutter and maintenance that was bogging me down!
Net gain: Freedom!
Downsizing requires you to plan, think through logistics, and also requires some mental and emotional preparation. If you’re a sentimental homebody like me, it will take some intentional planning to get there. Sorting and parting with a lifetime’s accumulation of stuff is not something you can do at a moment’s notice. This process is going to dredge up memories and emotions so taking it in stages is the best way to get through it.
With each move, I experienced emotions of loss, times of doubt, and fears that I was giving up too much. But once I was on the other side of the move I felt freer and lighter. Whether downsizing is your choice or being forced upon you due to life’s circumstances, the experience will be easier and more rewarding if you can plan ahead.
Make plans as far in advance as you can
Start preparing your mind and heart if you have time. We were barely in our new, smaller house for three years and I was already thinking about downsizing again.
I thought I had given up a lot of stuff when we moved from the 4,200 square foot home to a house less than half that size with no attic or basement, and yet, as I cleaned the house each week I felt overwhelmed by all the stuff I still had.
I began to play a mental game with myself as I dusted. In each room, I’d go through every item and ask myself, “If you downsized again, would you keep this?” It helped me put into perspective those things that were meaningful or useful to me and those things that I could live without.
When it came time to move again, we opted to downsize further. My husband announced, “You need to start thinking about all this stuff and what you want to keep.” I proudly announced back that I already knew my plans for every item in the house!
Expect things to take up more space than you thought
Even with all the cutting back I did and the multiple sweeps through the house to pull things in for our yard sale and donation pile, I still was shocked at how much it all added up to when it was packed into boxes.
Try to pack as much stuff ahead of the move as you can so you can see how the piles are growing.
If you are limited to a certain size truck or trailer do some calculating to be sure your boxes and furniture will fit. At the last minute, I had to part with items I wasn’t prepared to let go of because we ran out of room in the trailer. It’s an uncomfortable feeling to have to decide between your mom’s vintage dresser or new patio furniture!
Let go in stages
As soon as we made the decision to sell the house I did a pass through all the rooms and collected items I had no desire to keep. I started selling them on Facebook Marketplace and also used the Nextdoor app.
At first, my house started to feel stark, empty, and less cozy than I like it, but after a few weeks the new look settled on me and I was able to spot more items I wanted to part with.
This went on for almost a year as we planned our next steps. By the time the moving trailer was in the driveway, I couldn’t remember what I had sold.
If I had tried to do it all at once I know I would have felt overwhelmed and the emotions would have caused me to hold onto too many things. Also, by doing this in stages you can think through which items you want to keep and why.
Downsizing isn't about dumping everything, it’s about selecting the items that mean the most to you.
“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” — William Morris
We did a lot of Marie Kondo-ing also. Especially books and clothing.
Give away your special things as gifts
Even though I had planned carefully, in the final days it became obvious there were some things I needed to part with. We had limited ourselves to a certain size trailer that we would pull behind our pickup truck across three states so now push was coming to shove. I was making deals with my husband but I had to make hard decisions.
What helped was friends who came by in the last few days to say goodbye and help me pack. I was able to give some of my favorite items to them which made me feel better that they weren’t going to rot in the back room of the local thrift store.
My mom’s cherry wood dresser with my name carved into the top went to my friend, Valerie, and the vintage wicker rocking chair I was desperate to keep finally found a home with my neighbor who was about to be a grandma for the first time.
Knowing these cherished items were with people who I had grown to love made letting them go easier.
Don’t beat yourself up over items that are sentimental to you. Remember, this about keeping what brings you joy, not winning a blue ribbon in the minimalist contest. It’s okay to hang onto that quirky vase that reminds you of your favorite aunt or the moccasins you’ve had since high school.
Price to sell
If you’re serious about selling off your items, price them to sell and I promise someone will come to take almost every item off your list. When you overprice it probably means you are not ready to part with that item.
Keep in mind that even if the item is special to you or you paid a lot of money for it, the buyer is looking for a good deal. List more expensive items as soon as you can to allow time for the right buyer. I found items under $25 sold within hours or days but large ticket items like my solid maple buffet were listed for a few weeks before the right buyer came along.
Have a backup plan. Find a thrift store or charity that takes all items and know when drop-off hours are. Many stores won’t take large items like chairs and couches so be sure you know all their guidelines.
Think outside the box when it comes to donating. A local girl scout troop came to my house and loaded up all my leftovers from the yard sale. Animal shelters will do this too.
If you really love it, keep it and if it’s hard to replace and you love it, keep it
I have a few regrets about some things I left behind. Nothing life-shattering but I realize I could have squeezed those McCoy planters into the boxes somewhere. They will be hard to replace especially at the bargain price I found them for.
Don’t beat yourself up over items that are sentimental to you. Remember, this is about keeping what brings you joy, not winning a blue ribbon in the minimalist contest. It’s okay to hang onto that quirky vase that reminds you of your favorite aunt or the moccasins you’ve had since high school.
Expect it to be hard
I’m not going to lie, even the second time downsizing was hard. Maybe harder because I had so much excess the first time and I was eager to let things go. The second time I felt like I was digging deep to examine my motives for hanging on to certain items.
There were times I’d put things out for the yard sale, walk around and yank them back for safekeeping. There was some second-guessing and wondering if we were doing the right thing. Friends and family questioned our plan and I went through some grieving as I walked away from my farm and the animals I had grown to love.
When you reach that tough point in the downsizing process, go back to your WHY. Remind yourself why you embarked on this adventure and what your goals are. Just like a runner in the middle of the race, you will get tired, but if you remind yourself of the goal you can push forward to the finish line.
Cheers to you as you downsize and whittle away the excess in your life so you can have more time and energy, and focus on the things that matter to you!
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